I'm sorry- that sounds like an unhappy experience. And I'm sorry to the OPs too, for going through what they did!
I had a minor PPH - 850mL. Mine wasn't a fast labour- 3cm when synto was started around 9am, didn't push til after 5pm, DS delivered by vacuum at 6:30pm. I had an epidural, which I think was my saving grace, as it reduced the pain. I didn't realise what was going on at the time- just knew that the midwives kept massaging my abdomen (which hurt, despite the epidural) and thought that they were" tugging" the placenta out (which really hurt). It was only later that my husband told me the OB had manually removed it, and that he'd been in "up to his elbow". I also had the suppositories afterwards.
I'm thankful that it was a minor PPH, and can only imagine how scary it must be for women losing lots more blood. I'm also glad I didn't realise at the time what was happening, and that the OB, midwives and DH did such a good job of staying calm and reassuring. I only later realised what had occurred from DH's comments and those of a nurse, who said she was amazed how quickly I was up and showering afterwards.
I was a bit shocked by the realisation, and during those first weeks had a few good cries over it. I think, though, that because I didn't know at the time what was happening and hence wasn't scared, and because it was a smaller PPH, it's been a shorter path for me to come to terms with it. I'm now okay with it.
If you're feeling traumatised, please do speak up and tell someone. It's not something you should keep bottled up, and talking can help you process the grief you feel over the experience.
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09-02-2014 11:04 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
09-02-2014 12:01 #12
Massive hugs!!! I also had a pph but after emergency csection. I had several internals before my epi and they were absolutely horrifying. I didn't see my baby for 2 hours which upset me a lot. It takes time to get over, I've only recently realised I'm not over it. I wish I had received counselling afterwards. Please acknowledge your trauma, you have every right for your feelings to be validated x
09-02-2014 12:02 #13
09-02-2014 16:28 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
Rachie...my experience was very similar to yours and happened immediately after birth, although bub was thankfully fine. I was shocked at the pain of the manual removal of the clots and the (at the time it seemed) brutality of all the external pushing on my abdomen to try and contract my uterus. Later of course I understood how bad the situation was (I'd lost 2L of blood, spent over 2hrs in surgery and needed 3 blood transfusions). The memory is fading though - 3 weeks down the track and my feelings are a lot more resolved.
09-02-2014 17:47 #15
I lost over 3.5L in a PPH. I remember the midwife pressing so hard on my tummy to get my uterus to contract, and begging her to stop it was excruciating (especially as I'd had a c-section). I didn't have the manual clot removal though, that sounds hard as well, I had surgery. I got a copy of my medical record because I find it so hard to understand how I managed to lose so much blood in a hospital. It's an awful experience that stays with you for a long time.
09-02-2014 18:03 #16
Definitely seek counselling. It sounds like you are having an acute stress reaction, which can become PTSD. 21 months after my son's birth, i am still recovering from PTSD after a poorly managed and humiliating birth experience. Speak to your gp, midwife etc to find a counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist who has experience with birth trauma. Good luck, I hope you find your beautiful baby to be as big a comfort as my darling son has been.
10-02-2014 05:04 #17
Thank you @Hollywood and @mum2twinboys. That post kept me up last night, and it wasn't even directed at me. I spend so much time trying to explain that trauma is in the eye of the beholder, and as an outsider, your number one responsibility is to accept that that person IS traumatised, not to cast judgement, diminish it, or rationalise the behaviour of the perpetrator, no matter how 'logical' it may seem.
10-02-2014 09:52 #18
Rachie81, I am sending you big and I commend you on putting your thoughts down and asking for others experiences too, because I a firm believer in a 'problem shared is a problem halved', and as you can see by this thread that many other women can empathise with you and know what you're going through.
I had quite a substantial PPH which resulted in being rushed to Theatre under a general ad receiving several blood transfusions. I also had to return 14 days later for another OP which resulted in further trauma which wasn't expected and because of that and other reasons, I can't write the nitty gritty details down, I get too upset thinking about it. However, I couldn't not post after reading your post and hope in time, you will find some peace in what you experienced etc. Take care. x
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10-02-2014 10:34 #19
I had a traumatic labour with my ds (6 years ago) and still I sometimes get teary about it. My amazing Ob did come and talk to me the next day and he was brilliant in explaining why they did what they did, how the situation occurred etc. When I had my dd (almost 2 years ago) the same Ob was on the ward at the time I was in labour. He remembered me because he said I was one of the two labouring mothers he had almost lost to child birth. His timing was probably not great in sharing that info but as a result he said he wasn't going to leave me. He stayed with me for the whole 3 hours, never once left my side and helped me achieve the birthing experience I wanted. He also hugged me after. Sometimes they have to do what they have to do as time is not on their side and it is terrible to feel invaded, out of control and traumatised. Get as much info as you can about what went on. It helps a lot. Big hugs op.
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