I can understand DH wanting to do it I am exactly the same and sounds like your parents were too and that may even feel stronger for him as it's more of a father son thing as well but if the money isn't there I'm not sure how you can consider it.
Maybe just go through the budget with him and remind him that there will only be one wage for six months.
Maybe if it can be worked in, offer to do the dollar for dollar thing when he finds a part time job and pray he is not a diligent saver lol.
I have four kids, three older boys and a toddler, over the years I have helped out the boys with various things and not always 'exactly' my middle son has had the most help as he has needed it the other boys have never even noticed or mentioned it.
The car age is tough!
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07-02-2014 14:09 #11
07-02-2014 14:17 #12
Could an alternative be to purchase a manual car in your/DH's name for him to use? It will not be his car, he'll just have to pay upkeep and petrol. This could solve the issue of needing to 'give' his brother the same monetary value. You could even say he gets to use it on the proviso that he drives his brother eg. To work 2 days a week, something that shows it's not just 'his' car.
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07-02-2014 14:21 #13
As a teen my parents also contributed $500 towards my first car, but it was matching dollar to dollar to what I could save on my own, up to $500. It was to show I was able to save and earn enough money to maintain the running of the car. Could you do something similar? Say in twelve months time you will match what he has saved up to $1000? That gives you some time to save yourselves, and he may it may not even save that much, but it's on him then? You could offer the same for the other brother, that you will put money towards something he wants (not just give cash) if he can prove a saving effort!
07-02-2014 14:28 #14
Thanks for the suggestions - helpful to get some perspective!
As DSS has only just started learning to drive I'm sure DH will be happy to wait until he's on his P's before seriously considering the car question. By that time DSS should be finished school and is hoping to get himself an apprenticeship so he'll be earning his own income. I'd be back at work then and DH will have a good idea of our financial position post baby.
I do like the idea of contributing to his savings dollar for dollar (up to a certain amount) - it puts the ball in his court then and DH does like "responsibility" lessons. I will definitely put that suggestion to him
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07-02-2014 15:53 #15
Good on you for looking for a compromise.
There was a thread on here a couple of months ago about kids and cars the parents that would and wouldn't buy one was half and half but not that many parents on here actually have older children yet, the reality is these days most jobs that boys are interested in require a manual licence and depending on where you live public transport is not always an option,so the way I see it is it's helping them get that step up to working and financial independence, my bank account can't wait for that!
The other thing is they are on their learners for such a long time now, about a year now in WA ( varies state to state) if they are not straight on to permits, driving hours and stages it holds them up job wise. My youngest boy gets his Ps in July a few months before he finishes year 12.
07-02-2014 16:38 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
I would suggest going 1/3's in the car...1/3 you guys, 1/3 his mum and 1/3 him.
It is difficult and an important balance to make sure older kids don't miss out while younger won't.
If i were me...i would spend less on new baby stuff and put some aside for the car. I would also help DSS get a part time job so he can save his portion and start contributing to lessons. I would also get DH to sepak with bio mum to see if she on same wave length.
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