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  1. #1
    lexim's Avatar
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    Default Delicate topic. Help please?

    DH and I are having our third baby due in OCT and although it's very early to be picking names we do already have one in mind.

    One of DHs best friends died in nov. They where close and DH is also close to his family. He was over almost every night right after it happened and also regularly checks in with them still.

    We had thought about naming the baby after him - first name. But didn't want to just spring it on them. Like "hey here's our baby".

    Firstly, would you think it's ok to use his name?
    And secondly do you think it's better to ask them (maybe around 6 months) if we could and give them the time to think about it and the opportunity to tell us if they aren't comfortable with it than to just do it?

    I would hate to upset them.

    I also worry because they have two daughters (his sisters) who may want to use the name in the future (both are currently single).
    Of course I wouldn't mind them using the name, I just wouldn't want the fact we used his name stop them from using it. If that makes sense?
    Should we approach the family all together, or get the parents to ask the daughters?

    We would be using my dad's name as a middle name.

    Any thoughts/opinions would be appreciated.


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept
    Last edited by lexim; 05-02-2014 at 18:17.

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    I've given this thought myself. Personally I wouldn't used a deceased persons name as the first name. If we have a girl this time we will probably give her my deceased mums middle name or the name of a friends little girl who passed away recently as the middle name. It's your choice though. Not sure how your friends parents would feel though, best to talk to them and see.

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    I'd use it as a middle name.

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    I think it's lovely. My dd2 is named for my mum who has passed. I also think it's lovely you've given it so much thought. What I would do is discuss it with them and be open to using it perhaps as a middle name?

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    Personally, as DH is so close to the family, I'd be discussing it with the family first, letting them know you're naming bub after that specific family member all in good faith.

    No-one owns a name, but when it comes to situations like yours, I would def be having a chat! You may find they will be delighted or they may be a little distant. Who knows? I think it's a lovely thought, but that's me, not them.


    ⭐️DS born March, 2010⭐️
    ⭐️Baby #2 due Feb, 2014⭐️
    ⭐️Me=29 💗 DP=34⭐️

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    We used MIL's dad's name as a first name. We asked mil at about 7 months to see if she minded - she was actually quite chuffed.

    I think if you ask the parents and then decide who will approach the other family members. It really is a lovely thought and I would be surprised if it was a straight out no.

  9. #7
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    I like your plan of asking parents around 6 month mark. If you really like the name, that is the best plan. If you are just doing it to honour him, maybe have it as a second middle name?

  10. #8
    lexim's Avatar
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    @Nomsie I love the name and it works beautifully with my fathers name (as middle name) and our last name.

    We had actually thought of the idea when I last fell pregnant. I fell pregnant the day he died (literally the same day) and the baby was due a week before his birthday.
    Sadly I MC. But I still liked the idea of using his name


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept

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    My friend passed away, I asked her mums permission to name my bub after her. Fate stepped in and bub was born on her birthday too.

    Eta, bubs middle name is after my friend.

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  13. #10
    lexim's Avatar
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    @IndigoJ I'm sorry to hear about your friend but that is beautiful that your daughter was born on her birthday


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept


 

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