Just tell them?
I don't understand this need to lie about dates and times and wards.
If they do show up get your husband to firmly ask them to leave.
Get the midwives to put a sign on your door directing visitors to the staff desk.
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04-02-2014 11:34 #11-
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
The Following User Says Thank You to wannawannabe For This Useful Post:
04-02-2014 11:36 #12
I agree. Just tell them straight out, and if you think they will ignore you, alert the midwives and they can be the bad guys and keep them out.
The Following User Says Thank You to moongazer For This Useful Post:
04-02-2014 12:22 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
Not unreasonable at all! I did the same thing - I told people we wanted the first day or so for me to recover from my c/s and for our little family to bond. I then told them that DH would let them know when we were up to visitors. Best decision we made. Just be honest and don't worry if people don't like it. This is one time you really need to do what is best for you.
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06-02-2014 05:48 #14
Tell them your Dr has said no visitors due to the medical issues requiring a csec under general but that it wont be until the afternoon anyway Then you can not tell anyone that bub has arrived until you are ready.
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06-02-2014 05:55 #15
My good friend sent a text message on these lines..
Welcome to the world baby Emma. Born at 9pm Sun night & weighs 3kg
John & I are enjoying this special family time & will let you know when we're at home & ready for visitors x
That was clear to us and definitely understandable.
Me + DH + DS (2) + Bub #2 due July
The Following User Says Thank You to mandypiee For This Useful Post:
06-02-2014 07:00 #16
Similar to above post. We sent a text out a few hours after bub was born announcing birth. Finished off text with Mum and baby resting today and we welcome visitors from tomorrow onwards.
We also didn't share date with anyone other than my parents who were looking after our other child. I wanted to have special time with just our little family before being invaded by visitors. More for the sake of DD1, I knew having a new baby would be a huge adjustment for her, so wanted her to get used to baby before everyone coming to visit and fussing over bubs.
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06-02-2014 07:24 #17
First of all, your DH should be managing his family - you shouldn't have to do it.
My DD wasn't a caesar, but we told both families to stay away from the hospital until DH called to let them know bub was born and when we were happy for visitors. She was born at 8:30am and visiting hours started at 3pm (private) so we asked them to come then. Our parents were all fine with that and it worked well because they met at the shops next door and came in together - no angst about who got to see baby first.
We didn't send out an announcement to other friends/family until after visiting hours the next day as I had a complication post-birth and needed some rest time.
In your situation I would get your DH to tell his parents that the c-sec time could easily change on the day so he'll call them when bub is born, but given you'll be recovering from the surgery it would be best to wait until you're out of recovery and had some rest time before coming. He should then tell them he'll call again when you're all ready for visitors.
If the show up anyway he needs to ask them to leave. A simple "I know you're excited and we do really appreciate it, but mum & bub are just not up to visitors yet. I'll call you when everyone is awake and feeling well".
06-02-2014 08:02 #18-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Just be honest. Say you think you will be stuffed on day one and hubby will let them know when you will be up for visitors. Then when hubby sends out the announcement message have it end with "mum and bub is recovering and bub is resting. They should be up for visitors on xxx, however just to be safe, please message me if you are thinking if visiting."
The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:
06-02-2014 11:09 #19
I agree that DH's family means DH deals with them. My life has been so much more angst-free since we adopted this rule.
Since the cat is out of the bag so far as knowing the date, I also think it's a good idea to emphasise the fact that the surgery time could change (this is a very true statement, if there's an emergency your surgery will get pushed back) and they need to wait for a call/txt from DH before visiting.
Also think only one person from your family should bring your older child. They should wait outside the room and only come in after the siblings have had time to meet each other.
A general tip, have a notepad on hand to write who visited and what gift they brought. I was on pethidene after my 1st CS and those first days were very hazy making writing thank you cards really difficult!
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The Following User Says Thank You to Stretched For This Useful Post:
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