I couldn't read and not reply.
I want to echo what all the wonderful ladies have said thus far. I am pleased that you will be flying back to the UK so you can have the support of your family and friends at this time. Also wanted to reiterate not naming this guy on any documents. He doesn't deserve to be involved in any way.
Regardless of what you decide to do long term I think you are being very brave and will make the right decision for you and your baby. I am sorry you have had such a bad experience but hope that you will return to Australia one day.
Best wishes and take care of yourself! x
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26-01-2014 08:05 #51
26-01-2014 08:14 #52
Don't worry too much too much about having harmed the baby, lots of women don't know they're pregnant for the first month or two and carry on as normal with drinking, hair dying, etc and their babies all turn out just fine. I know one lady who didn't know until she was 5 months pregnant (was still getting monthly bleeding), and had been going out every weekend. Her baby was perfectly fine. Not that I'd encourage anyone to do it of course! But my point being that you needn't worry, chances are that everything will be just fine.
When it comes time to tell bub about their father maybe you could just explain that their father was sick (later elaborating to mental illness) and so he wasn't well enough to be a daddy. As they get older, you could elaborate on the reality of it.
I just wanted to add as well that after dating one narcissistic sociopath, and then a pathological liar/closet drug addict, I met and married the most wonderful, caring man and we now have a bub together and are living a wonderful life. So it can, and does, happen!
27-01-2014 01:13 #53
Thanks ladies, so nice to know there is life after dealing with these vile monsters.
My friend didn’t know she was pregnant until 7 months! She was quite a big girl anyway, but carried on as normal and just thought she was getting fatter from bad eating, so was really shocked when 2 months later she had a son- we all were! She’s a great mum now though and her husband was pleased. She’s since had another child.
That’s a really good way of explaining to a child about their absent father, I’d definitely bear that in mind.
Been packing up my bits and pieces and will send some stuff home in the post too so I’m not paying excess baggage. Feels odd packing up the last few months, so much has changed and everything reminds me of him and what he’s done/got away with….
I saw my ex in the street today- he was with his identical brother laughing and carrying booze- luckily he didn’t see me as I was in my friends car (they wanted to run him over!), he made me feel cold and sick. Can’t wait to never bump into him again.
Still really torn over the baby to be honest, but things will be clearer when I’m back and have my friends and family around me I know- even having my cat back will help!
Hugs to you all x
05-02-2014 08:10 #54
Hi Carly Lou, was just thinking of you and wondering how you're going? Hope you're back home by now and that you're doing OK x
05-02-2014 13:19 #55
Yes, how are you going? Hope all is well with and you haven't seen that a**hole around again xx
11-02-2014 07:25 #56
Thank you for asking after me, I really appreciate it.I'm adjusting to life (and the horrible weather!) back home. Still mind blown about the past months and who he turned out to really be, but it's good to be back and I'm feeling a bit more positive now. I saw the doctor and am on a waiting list for some counselling too, I'm due July 22nd- baby is a little bit small, but otherwise doing well, all very surreal seeing what is actually inside!Had some trouble with the ex before I left sending more abuse/threats (saying I'd stolen his sunglasses- WTF?! He has a baby on the way which he fails to mention but he's worried I've stolen his Fabris Lane sunnies and have been trying to contact his precious girlfriend- get a grip man!) and I joined another forum which was appalling, horrible judgemental women who sent me really hurtful messages and made me SO upset I cried for ages reading what they said, so I'm glad the people here are much nicer- thank you for your kindness.Still jetlagged and unpacking/settling back in/getting my head around this situation etc, but it's a fresh start now on the next chapter I guess x
11-02-2014 07:36 #57Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
Oh so you had an ultrasound and saw your little baby? I'm not good at maths- how far along does that make you? Your ex is a monstrous a**hole the sunglasses thing is hardly surprising considering his form so far. I for one am glad he hasn't mentioned the baby, if he forgets about it and leaves you alone that's excellent. Did you end up changing your number after that? I really hope you did. No good can come from continuing contact. As for the nasty judgmental biatches on another forum - pay no attention. Anyone who feels the need to judge you based on what you've told us here deserves to be judged themselves for being holier than thou, mean spirited *****. The Internet is full of them sadly. They are only speaking to the part of you that is afraid and beaten down by your ex's abuse. Screw them. That's not you. You're awesome and brave and open hearted. There is nothing at all wrong with that hon. I'm so glad you're safe and home. Please come vent here any time there are lots of lovely supportive women who care and can be support to you, myself included
11-02-2014 08:05 #58
Run run run to the uk fast as you can . Think of him as a sperm donor and never ever mention his name anywhere!
You sound like a amazing person who can survive anything and I have no doubt you will survive this .
It will be a tough road and you will be angry. Get counselling and everything you need and deserve .
Good luck x
11-02-2014 08:18 #59
Thanks for the update Carlylou. So glad to hear you're back home and it sounds like you're feeling more positive about things to come now. I can believe the X was still giving you trouble before you left - can't he just leave you alone! You're definitely better off without him!
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11-02-2014 19:10 #60
Glad that things are improving for you and hope that you get plenty of support from your friends and family.
Sorry that your experience with another forum was not a good one.
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