I am obviously the Nanna here because the smoking a joint thing would be a massive shock situation to me I would probably hate him straight away I don't care what anyone says, nothing ever good has come from smoking drugs.
I think OP decide why you snooped. Are you genuinely concerned, have a bad feeling for your sisters sake, or just snoopy/don't want her to be happy? I would talk to her, if you were my sister and told me you did that, I wouldn't care to be honest, I think everyone needs someone to watch their back whilst they are in the depts of wearing newly in love rose coloured glasses.
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24-01-2014 12:15 #51
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24-01-2014 12:15 #52
hi, I agree with the principle, her life her choice, but for me, smoking a joint would see me out the door. I can allow one or two drinks, but if the person got drunk in front of me on the first meeting, I would be rid of him. My opinion, if you are so close to your sister, that sharing this information with her wont damage your relationship, then go ahead and tell her. I would not, I would keep it to myself. I have often had mistaken first impressions of people. I don't think there is any need to breakup your sisters relationship at this early stage. Time will tell, he will show his true colours soon enough. for better or for worse. Marie.
24-01-2014 12:26 #53
Putting myself in the shoes of the sister, I would want to know.
Yes, the op did the wrong thing but now that it's done I wouldn't ignore it especially if there is something suss about the bf.
If you do tell be prepared for your sis and bf to be really mad though.
24-01-2014 12:34 #54
Being protective for your sister and wanting her to be in a good relationship means telling her that you get a bad vibe off his guy NOT using it as an excuse to snoop through his personal belongings after just meeting him.
I probably wouldn't own up to the snooping mainly because you don't want to hurt your sister and that's all it will do. I would tell her that you don't think he is a good guy, that the joint put you off and that you hope she knows what she is getting involved with. Then leave it be!
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24-01-2014 12:37 #55
Look, OP, you asked for opinions, you got them. The majority are disgusted by your lack of boundaries, I would tell BOTH of them what you did. Get them together, and tell them face to face what you did, you owe it to both of them.
You can protect the people you love without snooping through their partners things. Perhaps you could have raised your concerns with him, if you thought there was something a little 'dodgy' about him, or, or...here's this for an idea, raise those concerns with your sister, let her know your thoughts, look out for her, absolutely. But don't be a snooping busy body. It ISN'T your business.
Last edited by Lillynix; 24-01-2014 at 12:39.
24-01-2014 13:02 #56
I dont even know why the cards are an issue. Big effing whoop. maybe he got them once as a token from a bucks party. Maybe a mate gave them to him in a birthday card as a joke because he hadnt been laid in a long time who knows seriously the assumptions are astounding
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24-01-2014 13:04 #57
24-01-2014 13:05 #58
Last edited by MrsBid; 24-01-2014 at 13:09.
24-01-2014 13:11 #59
and as for the joint thing. the sister clearly has no issue with it so its absolutely irrelevant to anything
24-01-2014 13:15 #60Senior Member
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