Yeah not cool at all. You're wrong here not him
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23-01-2014 23:27 #11
23-01-2014 23:32 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
No, you did it to satisfy your own snoopy curiosity. If it was really to protect your sister, you would have said something to her about it rather than on here.
23-01-2014 23:46 #13
If you're not ashamed and think it's ok then why don't you tell your sister what you did?
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24-01-2014 01:06 #14
Way out of line OP. You've now created a sense of suspicion & want to tell your sister & ruin her happiness? Wait, what?
No advice, can't get past checking a strangers wallet.
24-01-2014 03:16 #15
My DH went to a bucks night and came home with left over free drinks cards for a strip joint in his wallet! Shock horror call the police he's clearly a bad person!!
What you have done is far far worse and more damaging to your relationship with your sister than a couple of cards you know nothing about will be for theirs!
Back off, let their relationship work itself out, if his character is questionable than trust your sister to find that out herself!
Mummy (24) + Daddy (26) + Baby (16 mths) happy family, trying to expand since October 2013
24-01-2014 05:28 #16
How about letting your sister make her own judgments and decisions about who she spends time with? She's an adult, she has her own children and after her experience with her ex I'm sure she's sufficiently cautious. I'm sure if this one turns out to be another dud she will survive.
24-01-2014 05:31 #17
You did justify your entitlement to going into this man's wallet because 'of the work you are in'. Maybe you could have a look at some of your ethical responsibilities at work and apply them at home. You could be right, the man could be a dill or you could be wrong. Either way, this is not the way you go about figuring out things. Not fair OP.
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Pusheen The Cat (24-01-2014)
24-01-2014 05:49 #18
What if he caught you going through his wallet? Imagine the possible ramifications.
Your first impression of him was that he is dodgy - fair enough. At the very most you could tell your sister (if she asks) that you're a little unsure of him, but leave it at that.
Do not tell your sister that you went through his wallet - it's not normal or right to invade someone's privacy like that, and your sister will probably feel the same.
Forget about it and let her find out what he is like for herself.
24-01-2014 05:57 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
I think the OP gets the point. Yes, she shouldn't have gone through his wallet. I really don't think we need two pages of replies telling her what a snoop she is. What is done is done now.
If you are really close with your sister, I'd raise with her all of the alarm bells that were ringing. It's up to you if you mention going in his wallet. I don't think brothel business cards are necessarily that he was there? Who knows but by all means if you are close to her mention how dodgy you think he is. Always be prepared that she may not agree and therefore may see him more and you less?
24-01-2014 06:08 #20
Maybe your sister also knows about previous hooker use as well? And doesn't mind/has worked on the issue with him? You can't know what they have disclosed and discussed in their private relationship and I think your sister might get hurt that you are assuming they don't communicate openly or that you know better.
Can I ask- are you her older sister? If so, please please please stay out of her business and choices. Worry from afar. Older sisters getting involved regardless of their intentions are suffocating and make you feel so judged. It damages relationships quicker than almost anything else! Us women have to make our own mistakes unfortunately. As a pp said- if she asks say you weren't too sure about him. But clarify it was the first time you met him so need more time to give him a chance. Best thing you can do is be completely neutral and on the periphery, support her and them no matter what, and if your instincts are right she will turn straight to you.
She gets to choose her man...
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