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19-01-2014 20:29 #21Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
19-01-2014 20:55 #22
I think you sound like a wonderfully supportive partner. You're going to do just fine.
Have you heard about Beer and Bubs? They are classes for Dads in a pub setting, and it looks like they go beyond when you will get to have sex again etc. Their website has some really good links publications too.
19-01-2014 21:59 #23
They've got heaps of info and videos etc, from bathing baby to changing nappies - it was great first time round, and is still our go to for number three. DP really enjoyed the 'Life' series (Life at One etc), to see what he could look forward to as they grow
Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 20-01-2014 at 10:01. Reason: Mentioning non-permitted website
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19-01-2014 22:47 #24
Everyone's covered a lot of points, but one thing I'll add is that breastfeeding has been one of the hardest and most painful things I've had to endure. Breastfeeding for me was far worse than the labour. In the hospital hubby didn't pay too much attention to me learning how to breastfeed, he assumed like I did that it's 'natural' and it would work itself out.
2 months in when things were still awful, we went to a lactation consultant and hubby watched her helping me with technique, then at home was able to help me as he watched fro her perspective on attachment etc. So my advice is when the midwives come in for feeding assistance, watch carefully and pick up tips to help your wife when you guys get home.
Taking 3 mths off would be a Godsend for your wife and bub. Best wishes.
19-01-2014 23:04 #25
It's aimed at parents (and yes, one of the rare resource out there that doesn't assume it is only read by mums), fact based and contains all the latest research and studies on anything children related.
I'm sure all your answers and more will be on there.
PS I have still no idea what a bunny rug is!!
Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 20-01-2014 at 10:03. Reason: Mentioning non-permitted website link
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19-01-2014 23:06 #26
As others have said, a lot of it you learn as you go. We both read up in advance but we are constantly googling now.
Use your initiative once bubs is here, make sure your wife is comfortable, coping & has what she needs as she goes about her day. Try to get things done without being asked. And, finally, be prepared (I'm sure you will) to be the burper/settler/nappy changer/cook/cleaner/driver/shopper etc!
20-01-2014 00:08 #27
I'm reading 'baby on board' by Dr Howard Chilton .
I was actually recommended it by a friend of mine who is a new dad.
So far, so good, it's not at all directed at one particular partner.
My friend swears by it, he said it's he best thing he's read.
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20-01-2014 07:32 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
The best piece of advice I read while pregnant was to "read your baby not a book"... although sometimes I felt bub was speaking a different language to me and it was a bit difficult.
Also, from the beginning I made sure night time (whether bub was awake or sleeping) was dark, quiet, and still, and day time (asleep or awake) was light/bright, noisy, and with movement. "Baby wearing" helps with the movement. Bub's been moving around for nine months just by being inside mum, try to keep up that movement by carrying bub for as long as possible after birth.
Everyone told me that this period of their life goes so quickly and IT DOES!
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20-01-2014 08:16 #29
Honestly I think you have already found the best resource for any questions you may have right here; thousands of experienced mums and a few dads, all ready and willing to answer any of your questions.
Try searching the forums to see what you can find to satiate your hunger for knowledge. But, Bubhub is also so much more than a forum- it is a wealth of information too. Have you ever looked at the home page of BH? Let yourself be taken from one article to another, there is plenty there to look at!
In the end though, no amount of preparation will ever make you feel like you have it all under control, because as soon as that baby arrives, and has a fussy period you will just think to yourself "gee whiz, this is harder than I thought"... but it's ok, babies do that on purpose! Have you keep you on your toes!
20-01-2014 08:56 #30
Hi Welcome aboard
I can strongly, strongly recommend Cheers to Childbirth as a good starting point.
If you can, get along to a Beer and Bubs session - the idea is that you and a bunch of guys turn up, drink beer, and ask questions of a very experienced midwife and some fathers who have been there, done that. I found this immensely helpful; I learned a great deal in a very welcoming man-friendly environment. These sessions are really, really good .... and there's beer. What more could you want?
Also, I found the Pregnancy Today app for my smartphone very handy. Each week it gives you a brief summary of how the pregnancy is progressing, what your wife is experiencing, and useful hints and tips. This is so useful ... gives you a real insight into what's going on from her perspective, in small, easily-digested bits.
In terms of mental preparation for parenting, check out Scream Free Parenting. I have found this to be the single most useful resource, as it helped me get my head into shape and make some decisions up-front that helped me be a much more effective parent and husband.
Nurture Shock is a good read too, especially if you're worried about how to help your child do well in life and aren't sure how (rough summary: let children be children and they'll learn better).
If you're in the Melbourne CBD and would like to catch up after work over a beer, feel free to PM me, happy to have a chat. Did I mention that I like beer?
(BTW the above Amazon links are not affiliate links ... I don't make a dime if you buy those books).
One further tip ... I found I had to be assertive to be included in some activities. E.g. when we went for ultrasound scans my wife was invited in to the room, I wasn't even greeted or made eye contact with. I don't know why this was, but it was certainly noticeable and made me feel like an outsider.
My solution to this was to politely introduce myself by name as the father, shake the hands of the technician and / or the doctor, etc. Basically insert myself into the conversation in a polite, non-aggressive fashion. This improved things immediately, and from that point on I was included in all conversations, etc. ... basically treated like I was part of the team from then on
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