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  1. #61
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    Did anyone say that young mums were bad mums in the other thread or did i miss something?

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    MrsSS  (16-01-2014)

  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    Did anyone say that young mums were bad mums in the other thread or did i miss something?
    Not in so may words and I have rephrased the first post.
    Last edited by CassJ; 16-01-2014 at 20:26.

  4. #63
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    Oh ok.

    Well i know good and not so good mums and their ages vary. It depends on the person.

    Quite a few of my friends had kids young (i was older -29) and they are amazing mums.

    Silly to judge a persons parenting skills / potential based purely on their age!

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    CassJ  (16-01-2014)

  6. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    I find so much of this post offensive, I don't even know where to begin.
    The last couple of posts have shown me clearly why I get a negative vibe off women who wait till they are older to have children. You all think that we should have what you have had, that we all value what you value and if we don't have it we have missed out.
    I want to make a couple of points.
    Women who give you a negative vibe really are probably in the minority because most women on here ( and irl) would say that age has no effect on your ability to be a great mum. Most women realise that we all have different values.

    It's worked for you and you are very happy with your family so I would try to just let negative vibes roll off you. I know "older" mums who get dirty looks from the young mums dropping their kids off at school so you find it everywhere.

  7. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    I find so much of this post offensive, I don't even know where to begin.
    The last couple of posts have shown me clearly why I get a negative vibe off women who wait till they are older to have children. You all think that we should have what you have had, that we all value what you value and if we don't have it we have missed out.
    I want to make a couple of points.
    -Not everyone wants a big career. That does not make me uneducated, it just means that to ME, raising my children was my biggest desire.
    -Not everyone needs lots of money, I don't need an expensive car or a big house and I don't think that my children do either. We are very financially secure and independent. For 2 reasons DH has worked very hard to make sure we are and we live within our means.
    -Me and DH have been together for 12 years, we have a very stable relationship.
    -I never saw having kids through rose coloured glasses, I knew as best as any first time mum could, what I was in for.
    -and lastly just because you might not have had maturity or emotional intelligence at 20 doesn't mean that there aren't many out there that do.
    I don't see VP's post as offensive. She has raised some valid points.

    I had my first at 20. I had spent less time in 'the real world' than a first time mum at, say, 30. Thus, I had less time to learn about myself, save money, add to my resume to make it easier to return to work after children and spend time in an adult relationship with the father of my children.

    That's just how it is, how is that offensive?

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  9. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    Not in so may words and I have rephrased the first post.
    Nobody said young mums were bad mums. For someone who is apparently 100% happy with their choices, you certainly let that thread bother you.

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    BettyW  (16-01-2014)

  11. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Women who give you a negative vibe really are probably in the minority because most women on here ( and irl) would say that age has no effect on your ability to be a great mum. Most women realise that we all have different values.

    It's worked for you and you are very happy with your family so I would try to just let negative vibes roll off you. I know "older" mums who get dirty looks from the young mums dropping their kids off at school so you find it everywhere.
    I don't think it's as minority as you think. I had children young and some of the comments for random strangers it's not just a vibe it's the words out of their mouth.... Even people who said age doesn't matter but then would make snide comments about age and having children or them saying things about mums they see out then going ohh but you don't count because your more mature or whatever even though they know nothing of the other perso

  12. #68
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    Agreed redlips, I was also 20 when my son was born and I don't find VP's post offensive at all.
    OP you're obviously very happy with your choice so who cares what anyone thinks??
    The people most likely to judge "young" mums in a negative light are people with no children at all in my experience.

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    SoThisIsLove  (16-01-2014)

  14. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    Because that's not "just how it is", not for a lot of young parents, fine it was for you but you don't speak for all people who have a child at 20.
    Neither do you!

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    VicPark  (16-01-2014)

  16. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Neither do you!
    No I don't, which is why I never put up a list of why being a young parent is a good idea for the majority of people.


 

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