I am 23 and my husband is 27 and we have a 2 year old and I am pregnant with our second.
I always feel judged by older mums that my children were accidental or unwanted, and even that I could not possibly give my children great opportunities in life because of my age.
My husband and I were married before we had children and very much decided and planned in advance both of our kids. We took everything into consideration - our finances, our capabilities as young parents, and even down to how well we would cope and how much help we would be able to get from our parents, as they are obviously young and working full time as well.
It took us nearly a year to fall pregnant with my first son, so of course we were delighted and more excited than ever to hear that we were finally pregnant.
My husband and I bought our house when I was 18... We had saved our deposit all on our own. We are in the process of building a brand new house now - again, that we have saved and worked hard for all by ourselves.
My son is very well dressed, well fed, goes to swimming lessons twice a week, plays kindy soccer once a week, and has regular play dates with other children. He is bathed every night, read to, cuddled, sang to, kissed, played with and educated. Developmentally he is right where he should be - he runs, he talks, he swims, he laughs and most importantly - he loves.
Yes, I am a young mum, but My husband and I provide for him everything an older mother and father could provide for him.
I hate feeling judged by older parents because they have no idea of our situation. My husband and I have worked hard for everything we have and will continue to provide the very best for our children that we can regardless of our age.
Don't judge a book by its cover - just because I am younger than you does not make me an incapable parent. Nor does it make me love my children any less than you do. It also doesn't mean that I am financially disadvantaged or that I provide less opportunities to my family. It may just be that I was more interested in setting myself up for life when I was younger than going out drinking with my friends every weekend.
I wouldn't change my life or my decisions to have children young for anything. My babies are my absolute world. There is nothing I love more than watching my son grow and blossom into a polite and warm hearted little boy.
Please feel free to tell me how I am doing a bad job just because I am younger than you.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 11 to 20 of 152
16-01-2014 09:03 #11
16-01-2014 09:05 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
me too ..im 41 im envious sometimes of young mums and wish i had of had my kids a little earlier..i wish i could have had my self together! my SIL is 27 and gorgeous and has one and another on the way, sometimes i envy her youth and that her children will be older and she will still be youngish...i dont judge young mums i dont think..some ppl are "ageist" whether it be young mum vs old mum etc but i see this actually more towards women who "choose" (use that word loosely as many older mums didnt exactly have a choice often) to have kids older ie they are being selfish, career driven, they will be 80 in the shade when the kid goes to high school,its not fair for the child etc etc. ive also had the few odd situations where i felt like a mum didnt want to get to know me cos i was "old" and they were "young" type of thing so maybe there are different "issues" facing a younger mother compared to older mother...?
16-01-2014 09:08 #13
16-01-2014 09:09 #14
I'm a young mum (23 and married with 2 kids) but I'm going to answer with my experience.
Of the mums that I know:
-more young mums are single or in unhealthy relationships than older mums
-more young mums are struggling financially than older mums
-more young mums are having their child babysat so they can go out and get sloshed than older mums
-more young mums have their babies in childcare for a break than older mums
I know that is definitely not the case for all young mums (myself included) but I can understand that if you're more likely to see things like the above in a young mum you know, compared to an older mum, your view will be jaded.
16-01-2014 09:12 #15
I'm 34 and my DS is almost 3. Not sure if I'm considered an 'older mum' or not, but I don't have the view that young mums are bad mums - no way!
Age isn't relevant as long as you are willing to be a dedicated parent.
There are women on here in their 20's and I marvel at their maturity and at how much they seem to have it all together (even from a financial point).
16-01-2014 09:14 #16
16-01-2014 09:14 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
I don't think young mums aren't good mums. Not at all. I'm sure that there are wonderful young mums (as there are older).
I just know a fair few young (under 21) mums who thought it would be so great to have a kid with someone whod be with them forever, when they've already broken up. That's a little upsetting for me as I really believe in the family unit. And one or two or the mums then leaves the grandma to look after the baby while they go out every weekend etc. Not to mention lack of financial stability.
I'm just not sure that that's what parenting is meant to be.
I'm certainly not saying that there is an 'ideal' parenting age or image, I would have loved to have my 1st kid around 26 but it didn't work out that way.
And honestly I can think of nothing nicer than being say 40 when your kid is just starting to go into their teens. I would have loves to have been that mum
16-01-2014 09:20 #18
16-01-2014 09:23 #19
16-01-2014 09:25 #20
By lydie in forum RockinghamReplies: 0Last Post: 01-09-2013, 19:41
By Tangwyn in forum First Trimester ChatReplies: 19Last Post: 26-06-2013, 10:15
By Buttoneska in forum General Sleeping & Settling ChatReplies: 6Last Post: 25-03-2013, 19:42
The MAMA CentrePregnancy, birth & beyond care with your very own midwife. Home & hospital birth support, VBACs, antenatal & postnatal ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
Any thoughts on my mysterious toddler? :-)General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
IUI - first time fertility treatmentNon-IVF fertility assistance
Show me your lunchbox 2017!!Recipes & Lunchbox Ideas
IVF babies due March/April/May 2017#2pregnancy and babies through IVF
Implantation sickness?Conception & Fertility General Chat