Just a matter of when you're comfortable with it. SILs (DHs sister) partner isn't referred to as uncle by us but she refers to him as uncle. They've been together for 2 years but I just don't feel right about it. On the other hand it's become evident that some of my family have a problem with the kids calling DH uncle. The kids don't care though and still refer to him as uncle. We've been together for 12 years. My sister's bfs have never been referred to as uncle. Despite all 3 being long term there just wasn't that level of comfort with any of them.
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12-01-2014 17:07 #21
12-01-2014 17:12 #22
Im another in the once they are married camp.
But...Dh has some nieces that where born early In our relationship, and called by only my name until we where married, even now many years later, I still feel slightly awkward when the call me aunty, mainly because I wasnt always Aunty to them. Where as all the nieces and nephews born after we where married have only ever known me as aunty so it doesnt feel as awkward (not that I love any of them any different) so I can see why some people do it earlier than marriage
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12-01-2014 17:38 #23
I've never really thought or worried about it to be honest. My 2 best friends and DH's 3 best friends are all referred to as aunty and uncle,they are more like family to my children than their real aunts and uncles. They are my kids godparents.
We havent really had anyone new come on the scene since my kids were born though.
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12-01-2014 17:55 #24
I think if you felt uncomfortable with it being said then it's not the right time.
12-01-2014 18:12 #25
Surely a big part depends on the relationship you/your child have with this person though.
I mean, a kid has 2 Uncles with partners (let's say).
One woman has been with the Uncle for 5 years gotten married 2 years into the relationship, but lives overseas and doesn't have much to do with the family.
The other has been together 18 months, but you see them a few times a month and she's great with your kids. They're not planning to wed anytime soon.
In the above, I'd be much more inclined to give the second woman "Aunty" title before the first... just because I'd know her better, even without marriage and the fact the relationship is shorter.
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12-01-2014 18:45 #26
Since SIL got married it's been Uncle xx
12-01-2014 18:48 #27
It's a term of endearment for me, so, for my BFFs will be known as aunty & uncle, (not their partners though, weird I know)
I'm the last in my family to have kids so it's easy, but DD is the first for DFs side, and his sister is already married. The other sister swears she'll be an eternal bachelorette, but if she does get into a LTR then we'll call her partner uncle after a few years I guess.
14-01-2014 14:46 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
When they are engaged/married or at least when they live together, or if they had kids together or any other major commitment.
I've been with my partner for almost 4 years and we have a baby and I've never had one of his nieces or nephews call me 'aunty' but I do refer to them as 'my' nieces and nephews.
03-12-2014 16:16 #29
My post will probably shock most people and probably not help PP come to her decision. In my culture its a sign of respect, no child will be caught referring to his/her elder by her first name, and this is how it goes
If the person is older and don't have kids- aunty or uncle regardless of whether they are related to you, the only differentiation we have is if the are related to you from your farther's side, we have a variation of aunt/uncle for them
If the person has kids they are refereed to as Mma *first child's name* or Rra *first child's name* (Mma and Rra means mother and father) so basically its child's name 's Mom and so on.
When its a relative who has played a big part in your life and really close, its not uncommon for them to just be mom or dad( i actually have 4 people i call mom)
03-12-2014 16:22 #30
My son has called my DP brother's uncle since about 2 months into our relationship ...we knew when we got together it was serious and my son also calls my DP's mum grandma as well.
You do what feels right for you
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