My partners nephew recently started referring to DP as uncle xxxx with out prompting - it was weird as the term wasn't really used (but I think he loves it!) so now I'm sometimes referred to as auntie but it's a bit hard to say for the little ones as my name has a decent amount of syllables as it is...
I think it all started when our baby was born last year; even though she was stillborn, she was the first niece/granddaughter in the family xoxox
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12-01-2014 16:09 #11
12-01-2014 16:26 #12
I was refered as aunty to my partners neices and nephews straight away.. I myself thought it was kind of weird as Ive only ever met them 3 or 4 times. We were only in a relationship for like 2 months when it started
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12-01-2014 16:33 #13
Once they are living together, engaged, or married.
I'd been living with ex-DH for 2 years and was one day prepping his nieces hair for a family photo shoot, one said 'thanks Aunty', her cousin then said 'my mum said we're not allowed to call her aunty, because she's not really part of our family'.
It cut quite a bit, I'd looked after this kid and her 5 siblings for a week while her parents went away, in the capacity of being an aunty-like figure in their lives, had seen them almost weekly over the 2 years I'd lived with their uncle.
I don't have my own nieces and nephews, so that might've added to the hurt.
12-01-2014 16:49 #14
For me it's when you like that person enough to consider them that.
For example, my sister's boyfriend has been 'uncle' in our family from day dot, because we all liked him instantly and it seemed natural.
My husband's brother has a girlfriend who will never be referred to as 'aunty' regardless of how long she is around, whether they get married or not! Because we can't stand her and don't wish our child to call her that.
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12-01-2014 17:07 #15
When you decide to? Or if they're married/in a long-term committed relationship when the child is born.
I'm not an Aunty to DP's sister's kids. I'm their uncle's gf (we've been together 5.5 years, the kids are 5 and 8)... but my brother's child gets told that my partner is "Uncle *his name*." I also refer to my brother's gf as "Aunty *her name*" to my daughter, because I've decided I'm cool with her providing that role to DD.
12-01-2014 17:32 #16
I'm the same in regards to Aunty and uncle are terms applied to family only and not friends, with the exception of one person, my nanas life long best friend, who had always been referred to as Aunty. IMO, A siblings partner earns that title if they become married, engaged or are long term partners who seem like they will be together till the end. Sil(brothers gf) is Aunty, BIL (sisters husband) I'm trying to encourage the uncle title but forget all the time. it feels a bit awkward as well.
To me, it is a mark of respect to be called Aunty/uncle. I also find it disrespectful to not call a parents sibling Aunty/uncle.
Dp's side of the family don't seem too fussed. In the beginning i attempted to use Aunty but Sil (dp's sister) never referred to herself as Aunty(neither did any of the rest of the family) and only recently has started doing so almost 9 years later. So, dd's refer to her by her first name only and find it awkward to use Aunty.
12-01-2014 17:35 #17
I'm in a similar boat OP. My BIL's girlfriend has fallen pregnant & he decided to do the right thing and propose, but they've been together less than a year and it's been less than 6 months since I first met her. I'm not comfortable with her being referred to as my DD's aunty yet, even though they were together when she was born.. I don't feel I know her well enough.
She referred to herself as Aunty on the tags of my DD's Christmas presents from them, and I wasn't happy that she's just presumed that it's OK before we've referred to her as such. Not sure whether to say anything in case it's going to cause trouble or something!
Sorry I have no real advice, it's just nice to know I'm not the only one!
12-01-2014 17:42 #18
Another one that thinks marriage/engagement/living together level of commitment before getting that title.
My family only started referring to my partner as Uncle to my nieces once we got engaged, as it was obvious to them then that he would be sticking around for the long haul.
As a child, a GF of my uncle started referring to herself as Aunty from day one and I really didn't like that since I didn't know her from a bar of soap! I had been brought up to see aunties and uncles (even the honorary friends variety) as "extra trusted" adults that would be there for me if ever my parents couldn't be - if they didn't have that level of trust then they weren't granted the title.
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12-01-2014 17:49 #19
Oh and as an extra note, as a child were never referred to anyone as Aunty or Uncle who wasn't married into the family. My Aunty has been engaged for more than 20 years & had 4 kids with this man, but we have never called him uncle because they never married.
To those who say it's dependant on the level of commitment, what if they've moved in together immediately, then gotten pregnant/ engaged before you feel you've had a chance to get to know them? Does it automatically have to happen anyway?
12-01-2014 18:06 #20
My now DH and I moved in together after dating for 6 months (had known each other for several years before this). It wasn't until about 8 months later that he proposed though, so for just over the first year of our relationship he was referred to by first name only. From engagement to marriage the uncle title was slowly introduced and now my nieces and nephew use it all the time.
As an added point - none of my DH's nephews call me Aunty, but they were all teens when we got married. It doesn't bother me though as they stopped referring to DH's ex as Aunty when they split up, so it's not like they prefer her over me!
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