I've been with my partner for 7 years, not married, and dd has his surname. It's never been an issue. This might be strange but I like that by name she 'belongs' to him. A bit silly but everyone knows she's mine, but I like her name tying her to him. But like lili81 said I think it's just a name and doesn't define who she is.
Also if we ever got married I wouldn't change my name for professional reasons.
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14-01-2014 19:07 #51
14-01-2014 19:33 #52
My son has his father's surname. We are not married. I didn't really have a good think about it, I just knew in my heart it was the right thing to do and I don't regret it. My DSS has his mother's surname and never had my DP's surname, which broke his heart, but that's not the reason as to why I gave my DS his father's last name.
17-01-2014 07:45 #53
My partner and I aren't married. We discussed the whole surname thing (I'm lucky that my partner is non-traditionalist and sees nothing wrong with kids having their mother's surname). We both have very long, hard to spell names of different ethnic backgrounds so hyphenation was definitely out! In the end we decided on the following:
1. Pick a cool first name.
2. Figure out which surname sounds better with it.
3. Other parent's surname used as a middle name.
4. With the next bub we'll switch the surnames around.
Any confusions people have can be cleared up with a simple conversation. People may assume we have a blended family but since there's no shame in that I refuse to name my kids to satisfy other people's prejudices.
Go with your heart on how you want to name your child. Don't fret about confusion or anything. One of the benefits of being in a small town is everyone knows everyone and everything anyway so word will soon spread on why your child has a particular surname!
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17-01-2014 10:30 #54
As a FYI in my home country you are not allowed to give a different surname to subsequent siblings (same parents).
I know only one instance of a sister and a brother not sharing their surname and they were not very happy about the situation. The sister actually started the process of changing her surname.
Just a different perspective
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