My dad said "you didn't achieve much in life but you did make two wonderful kids"... wtf thanks dad!
My parents have a knack for dishing out an insult wrapped in a complement, I usually don't let it bother me but lately I'm really picking up on them and I don't know how to deal with it...
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10-01-2014 23:51 #1
Lovely insult... what should I do?
10-01-2014 23:58 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2014
:O Im so sorry he said such a nasty insensitive thing what a butt. I dont have any advice... actually I do. Im sorry but having kids is the most rewarding important thing anyone can do!!! I dont understand how he can say that being a parent himself. You are important and play a vital role in society. Without parents the human race would die. Thats pretty damn important in my opinion. Hugs hun.
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11-01-2014 01:41 #3
Water off a ducks back and next time reply "speak for yourself"
11-01-2014 02:17 #4
"Must run in the family"
I used this one when mum kept telling me I'd put on weight.
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11-01-2014 02:23 #5
Yeah, gee thanks parent, what a put down! And this superbly crafted insult implies you're washed up and finished - no more potential achievement for you this lifetime.
My mother does this. The best way to handle it is to keep those expectations of moral support from your dad quite low, and don't accidentally ask for input. Go to others when your self esteem needs a boost. Make a joke of the 'classics' you've heard so far and see if each new back-hander surpasses the rest. My sister and I compare notes and sometimes laugh about epic insults that are now decades old. My husband is still reeling from receiving a battery powered nose hair trimmer and a book on anger transformation from my mum for Christmas. I usually get something on weight loss.
If your feelings keep getting hurt, perhaps there's a little fear inside that there's truth to the insults or you're not valued/loved/worthy. So, remind yourself that you're not a kid, you don't need anyone's approval, you are the architect of your own life and will judge it for yourself against your own criteria at a time of your own choosing (and that you're a better parent).
Last edited by Pru40; 11-01-2014 at 02:28.
11-01-2014 05:25 #6
For a start your life is hardly over and according to what life achievement grading scale is he referring to?? Pretty knobby thing for him to say to his daughter.
11-01-2014 08:22 #7
Ugh! my dad says stuff like that all the time. I honestly think some people don't think before they speak and realize that they have put their foot in their mouth so they brush it off with something nice, as if it'll cancel out the insult.
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11-01-2014 18:05 #8
I'm assuming he's referring to the fact that I'm a sahm and I haven't done much with my university degree... What really bothers me tho is that my mum was a sahm for most of her life, is that what he thinks of his wife?
Today he had something to say about my cooking... How I can bake lovely cakes and cookies but then I make 'quick meals' like home made pizza or stir fry or use the slow cooker, I actually had to explain to him that baking I can do whenever dinner is right in that crazy hour where my 21 months old is tiered and hungry and my 10 week old needs to be put to sleep, the man had lived in my house for 4 months he's either blind deaf and senile or he's really never looked after a child and run a house for more than half an hour!
11-01-2014 18:28 #9
"I'm a product of your parenting"......except you are clearly more than the product of someone who makes nasty comments about you.
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11-01-2014 18:35 #10
"I didn't realise my life was already over! Wow. Thanks for letting me know!"
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