Thanks for replying and sharing your stories. I'm so sorry that you have had this happen to you.
I think I'm still in shock. Our daughter is getting cremated today. It's hitting home again that she is never going to be with us. I can't imagine life ever being the same.
The guilt I'm feeling is immense. It makes me feel better to know its a normal emotion to be experiencing.
I think I should look into some counselling. I feel bad burdening my husband all the time. He has been great but he deals with emotion differently and I don't want to make his healing process harder
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30-12-2013 09:28 #11
30-12-2013 09:30 #12
So sorry for all your losses
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30-12-2013 12:28 #13
French Pear - yes get counseling but please speak to your husband too, we found that DP was feeling exactly the same way but struggled to vocalize it; so I would tell him how I was feeling or what thought was running through my head making me cry and he would either talk me down and comfort me or we'd just cry together...
To be honest, we're closer for it.
30-12-2013 18:40 #14
French Pear, i'm so sorry for your loss. Your darling baby girl will always be in your heart. Your guilt as a mother is a natural reaction, having the strength to reach out shows how strong you really are. The women of bubhub are here for you x
18-01-2014 08:31 #15Smile :)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- north east victoria
Fresh Pear we lost our beautiful baby girl last tues to exactly the same circumstances. My waters broke at 17 weeks 2 days. I had an ultrasound to see how much Id lost and it was everything. she had nothing left so I was induced the next day and right up until she was born I could still feel her moving. I was so scared to push her out. It wasn't right to let go of my baby girl so early. My partner had to leave the room he just couldn't cope seeing me like that. I sobbed loudly. I had my mum with me. My beautiful baby girl was born 155gms, she was perfect. The last fews days have been incredibly hard. I cry almost constantly. I think constantly. I didn't hold her enough I didn't kiss her enough, I didn't say one last goodbye before I left the hospital because I was worried about my partner. I blame myself for notbeing strong enough to say yes I want to kiss and hold her more, it hurts like hell, and I will never get to hold her again. I feel so guilty eating foods I shouldn't like prepackaged salads, I cant watch baby ads on tv or look at pregnant people. I HATE that my milk is coming in and I don't have any use for it. Giving birth to a beautiful baby girl so early was hard enough now I have to endure painful sore boobs that think I have a baby to feed. I cant look at any of the things I bought her it makes me break down. My poor dp hasn't even seen his beautiful daughter yet he wont talk about it. He consoles me and makes sure im comfortable. I know we need some counselling and we will get some next week. Will it get better? I don't know. Life is one cruel son of a *****. My beautiful girl has been sent to Melb to have an autopsy to see if anything caused this. At the time I said I didn't want her back but now I pine for her. I don't want to look at her I just need to have her with me. Might sound crazy and awful but I need her I cant let her go. Why does this happen to us. Know you are not alone although that's probably how you feel because I do. Im also trying to deal with my dd being an only child. I have a dsd but shes 16 and soon we wont see much of her. My dp doesn't want to have any more kids now. Ive had 3 mc's in a row and the pain of this one is too hard to deal with.
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