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  1. #1
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    Default Old friend's Mum passed away, what to say?

    Apologies for the long post.

    I had a good friend in high school and knew her family quite well. That was 15 years ago and over the years we have basically lost all contact apart from being Facebook 'friends'.

    I was speaking to my Mum and we somehow got onto the topic of old school friends and Mum enquired about said friends Mum, since they also used to be friendly but have also lost contact, and said it would be nice to get her number or email to make contact again (like a Christmas card or something).

    Anyway I went onto FB and was going to send a quick message just saying Hello and asking about her family, when I noticed that she had heaps of posts and family pictures on her wall that included her whole family except her Mum, things like birthdays, holidays etc. They used to be extremely close so I thought it was a bit odd and for some reason I didn't send the message.

    Then (and I don't know why I did this) I 'Googled' her Mum's name and up came her Obituary notice from many months ago. I just felt so shattered and upset, thinking of how close they were and what a lovely lady she was.

    So my question is, keeping in mind my old school friend and I have had almost no contact in 15 years and she has made no mention of this on FB (no messages of condolence from others either) should I send her a message or email and what should I say? It just feels wrong to now know about her Mum's sad passing and not say anything, but perhaps it would be inappropriate and I shouldn't contact her just to bring up something so awful, how would I even explain how I had found out (I Googled your Mum because I'm a weirdo who Googles random things for no apparent reason 😕)

    Opinions?

  2. #2
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    I would send her a facebook message offering your condolences and say that you had only recently heard her Mum had passed away. I don't think that's weird and she is not likely to ask how you heard, but if she does just say your Mum told you. You don't have to elaborate any further.

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  4. #3
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    I was going to say exactly what GirlsRock just said.

  5. #4
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    While I agree to send your condolences and let her know you've only just found out - I wouldn't send a facebook message. Take the time and write a card. Maybe I'm just a bit old fashioned like that, but I would appreciate a card much, much more than a fb message.

  6. #5
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    If nothing at all has been written on Facebook, I would definitely not do that.

    I think a card would be a lovely gesture though.

  7. #6
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    Like others have said I would send a fb message to her inbox.

    If you wrote a card you would then need to find her address etc


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