I am a forever stay at home mum. I love it. My family love it. I feel blessed that we can do it.
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24-01-2014 20:02 #51
30-12-2014 09:38 #52
I didn't read all the posts but I was about to start a thread on this, I am feeling so alone in this SAHM thing, all my 'mum' friends work except for a couple who are unintentionally sahm and will eventually go off to work, there is not another woman in my area who I know who is a long term sahm and who doesn't put the kids in day care... I'm not judging this is my choice as is the opposite for my friends and other families but I'm just wondering if I am that unique?
Sometimes I doubt my choice not because I miss working or I don't enjoy being a sahm but just because it seems we (my family) is going against the grain.
There's so much negativity around being a housewife, why is it so? Why is it that this 'traditional' model of family that has been working for centuries has been put down frawn upon and it seems is now dying?
30-12-2014 09:56 #53
I'm not very active on bh anymore but had to respond.
I'm a sahm its all I've ever been. All of my family were sahm so I know nothing else. I've been a mum nearly 16 years and my youngest of 6 children is 4 months old.
I had the first 3 in daycare but we homeschool now so the last 3 have never been in any outside care nor will they be.
because I was young when I had my first I've only ever had one job for a short time. Family is more important to me than material things. I'm grateful I can choose to have a family and be their full carer.
Anyone who thinks sahm are not doing a 'job' are misinformed.
Pm me any time if you want to chat @ciaomamma
30-12-2014 10:23 #54
I wonder the same thing ciaomumma. I'm a SAHM to my almost 10 month old DS, and I have absolutely no intention of EVER going back to work, unless our financial circumstances change. In fact, I wasn't even working for a whole two years before he was born, so I was doing the unthinkable, I was a SAH housewife with no kids!! Shock horror! I loved it, even if it was boring and lonely a lot of the time. I really hate working that much, and would rather be pottering around the house than doing pretty much any job in the world. People kept asking me during those two years if I was looking for a job, when I was going to start working again, etc. etc. I idly wondered if they were judging me for being such a lazy cow, but I didn't care if they were, as both my husband and I were happy with our circumstances (he worried about my social isolation and how that was affecting me... still does actually, but other than that he was fine with it), it didn't matter what anyone else thought. Now that DS is here I feel a bit more validated being a SAHM, but I do wonder what people will think/say when our kids are teenagers and I'm still not working, touch wood. Lol.
I probably still won't care though. I've only ever wanted to be just a wife and mother, and 50 years ago that was a perfectly normal path to choose. I don't know why it's not acceptable to so many these days. We're in the amazing position in that we can live very comfortably off one income (I never take this for granted, I might add), so why not take advantage and live the life I've always wanted? My only issue is that I still haven't made any friends, let alone mum-friends, since moving to England back in June, for various reasons. I started chatting with a couple of mums at swimming lessons, but guess what, they both finished maternity leave and went back to work! Sigh!
30-12-2014 10:50 #55
I've been both. I'm currently home with my 4mth old for 12months and then I will go back to work. I work because I love my job and need the mental stimulation it provides, I don't work purely for financially reasons. I love the time off I have had with my babies too over the years but have found I am ready to go back to work by the time it comes around to my mat leave ending. I would be bored staying at home on a permanent basis but that's just me. I have been good at finding the balance of work and motherhood though and my kids have thrived in daycare and I feel they appreciate me as I do them when they have not been clung to me 24/7. This is our situation and it works for us. I get judged too sometimes.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what works for you.
30-12-2014 13:16 #56Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
I am a sahm and my oldest started Kindy this year which has resulted in me making lots of new friends. I made a concerted effort to chat to all of the other Kindy mums and dads and accepted any invitations for coffee or a play date. We have been invited to a few social outings such as dinners and drinks with the other kindy parents and my husband and I now have a whole new group of friends that live within walking distance.
I am going to re join the gym this year which means I can walk my oldest to school, continue walking to the gym with my youngest two, put them in the crèche and go for a workout. I can then have a coffee and read the paper at the cafe before walking home for nap time.
For me being a sahm is more enjoyable than working long hours at the firm and not seeing my kids during the day.
I sometimes miss work but I do not miss the stress and pressure of juggling work and motherhood. Money isn't an issue so I am happy to be a sahm and focus on my family and their needs as well as getting my pre baby body back in 2015.
30-12-2014 13:43 #57Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
Hi, I am a full time SAHM with a 1 and 2 year old and another on the way. My husband and I are totally happy and lucky to be comfortable with this situation but yes I have found it so hard to find other long term SAHM.
My mummy friends normally do 6-8 months maternity leave then return to work. Or the few SAHM I do know put the kids in daycare for 2 days a week to get a break. I found it hard to keep up with some of the friendships as play dates drop off once their kids are in care.
I don't have any intention to return to work unless for financial reasons but do wish I knew other SAHM to chat about stuff with. Like the days your kids are just driving you nuts! And how it feels like Groundhog Day sometimes haha
I have got a nice little routine of different playgroups/ music mornings now where I catch up with different groups of parents but it's hard to expand on those friendships on other days when most women work at least part time.
In the end I feel so lucky I can be home with my kids.
30-12-2014 16:26 #58
Hello all, I'm a sahm and up for a chat if anyone is intetested. Where are you all from?
30-12-2014 16:42 #59
Hi everyone. I'm also a stay at home mum. Its been an on again off again gig for me but ultimately what I always wanted to do. I took 6 mths maternity leave when dd was born but could not bare to leve my baby so I quit. I returned part time (3 days a week) when she was 18mths and worked until oct 2013 when we lost out second bub at 21 weeks. I just finished 5 mths of work covering maternity leave so once again I'm a sahm. I really do find a lot of judgement because dd will be 5 this year and will be attending kindy 5 days a fortnight. Beacause I don't have a younger children at home people assume I should be working. I love being home with dd and if I did work it would be impossible for her to attend kindy as the hrs are 8.30- 2.30. I do find it quite isolating and as I dont drive I'm mostly at home. I wish I had more sahm friends but they are hard to come by these days. But for now I'm happy being home with dd and very thankful we are able to make it work financially on one income.
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30-12-2014 18:48 #60
I replied to this thread a while ago but am now a sahm to 2 little girls - dd1 is 4 and dd2 is 7 months. Our eldest starts kindy in 4 weeks which is going to be strange but I love being a sahm. Financially we make sacrifices but is sooo worth it imo as they are little for such a short time
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