My LO is (just) 6 weeks old and we left the hospital with me expressing and then comping her with formula. I feel your pain in regards to expressing every 3 hours and then all the sterilizing.
Baby finally latched at 3 weeks.
I also had supply issues and am on motilium. I'm just now weaning off it.
We are now at a stage where we have weaned the formula and she is 100% breast fed.
It took a while, it isn't easy and while it's true breast milk is ideal for a bubby,
What's best for the pair of you is what has you happy and stress free.
I'm happy i persevered. B00b is awesome! It's such a great bonding experience. No bottles, no sterilizer and the best... No expressing!
Don't feel bad about the choice you make. You will make the best choice for the pair of you.
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14-12-2013 22:13 #11
14-12-2013 22:14 #12
14-12-2013 23:09 #13
Op - just wanted to send you some hugs, its hard in those early days. My DS was born with a very weak sucking reflex and couldnt bring his tongue forward enough when trying to latch (but wasnt tongue tied, his muscles were underdeveloped). I comped with formula while in hospital and ended up pumping and syringe/finger feeding to encourage his sucking reflex to get stronger. With perseverance and seeing a LC, he is now fully BF and is 9 weeks old. It was HARD work and took a lot out of me. I wasnt able to achieve this with DD and ended up bottle feeding with her. Either way, it doesnt matter how bubs gets the milk, or whether or not its breastmilk or formula - what matters is that bubs is getting fed and that mum is doing ok too. Happy mummy and happy baby is the most important thing. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
14-12-2013 23:14 #14
I was in a very similar situation to you. I had an emergency c-section because DS was in distress; he was sent straight to the NICU and I didn't see him for several hours because I was stuck being all loopy from the drugs.
DS was not a fan of the boob - he had tiny little newborn tantrums when I tried him on the breast every single time. Supply was not a problem for me, though, there was plenty to go round! I gave him colostrum in a cup for the first few days. The attempts to BF never got any better. DS was perfectly content right up until I put him near my boobs - then he'd freak out completely. I saw two lactation consultants regularly for the whole five days I was in hospital and tried every trick they (and the midwives, my mum, MIL, pretty much everyone you can imagine, etc) offered. I tried holding him differently, I tried nipple shields, I tried feeding him when he was half asleep, I tried feeding him when he was wide awake. I tried everything. All for naught. DS just would not latch.
However, I was seriously distressed about the fact that we just couldn't seem to make it work.
When my milk came in I went straight to expressing. On top of stubbornness, DS also had a pretty big appetite and I just wasn't getting enough when I pumped - we started supplementing with formula by day five. I tried to be positive about it - DS was getting fed after all - but I was naturally touchy about the subject. I felt as though some midwives were implying that I wasn't doing enough, and one of the LCs actually said as much. I was not impressed.
By the second week, DS was getting EBM with a formula top-up every second feed. I tried him on the breast before every single feed (except the ones DP did because dude, I needed sleep). Still, nada. By that time he'd probably gotten used to the bottle and the boob was just too much effort.
I'd like to tell you that my BFing journey ended well. Totally didn't. I managed to continue expressing every three hours for a month. And expressing is exhausting, physically and emotionally, there's no need to beat yourself up about that. Unfortunately, by that time the pregnancy hormones had well and truly worn off, I was staving off anxiety attacks, and feeling those stirrings that told me I needed to get back on my antidepressants. So I decided - with DP's full support - to exclusively formula feed.
Essay of crappy experience aside, I've read so many inspirational stories on BH of people who pressed on and went on to have long and wonderful breastfeeding experiences, and I'll try again next time. I won't lie, I still feel guilty about it sometimes. I wonder if things would have improved if I'd persevered. But the guilt does lessen over time (mostly because I've found so many more things to worry about!) and I don't think I'll beat myself up about it as much with the next one regardless of the outcome.
You are in early days and there is every possibility that one day you may be one of those mums with a positive ending to your story. But it's totally okay if you decide not to continue. It doesn't make you a bad mother. As a matter of fact, I'd argue that feeding your child at all (whether it's breast milk, formula or a mixture of the two) automatically makes you a good mother!
The fact is that you're probably going to get judgement regardless of what you decide to do. (Even the ECHN asked me why I wasn't trying harder to BF!) At the end of the day, there is NOTHING wrong with deciding to formula feed your bub. Nothing at all. Formula is a perfectly healthy alternative to breast milk. (Washing and sterilising bottles a million times a day is a pain in the butt though.)
Don't let people make you feel guilty about your decision, whatever that may be. At the end of the day, a happy mum makes for a happy baby. I think that's what's important here.
Last edited by snowqu33n; 14-12-2013 at 23:16.
14-12-2013 23:29 #15
There's been some great advice here I just wanted to send a hug because it's so hard in those first few days
Whatever you decide it's ok (both feeding methods have their pros and cons, whatever works for your family is best ). My Bub ended up formula fed and she's done so well on it, if breast feeding doesn't work out for us next time than we'll have zero guilt going back to formula again.
I've been reading feeding stories on fearless formula feeder (a blog) lately, I think being so close to the birth of number 2 is making me revisit my previous feeding journey. I have to say I'm feeling pretty positive, I'm hopeful we'll get further than last time, but I don't regret switching for my DD because it was right for us at the time
14-12-2013 23:29 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
It sounds like you may not be getting the right support from your midwives as what you are experiencing is very normal. Please don't expect to be a champion breast feeder by day 4... These things take time, I like to refer to it as a marathon. It's a long, challenging road, but very rewarding in the end.
It comes across as if you don't want to breast feed at all.. 'I don't want to breastfeed', 'please don't preach to me about the benefits of breastfeeding'..
I get the feeling that you've made your mind up already and you are seeking approval to do so. There is lots of great advice on here and there is plenty of support available if you wish to continue on your breastfeeding journey. Please don't feel like you need to justify yourself or seek approval to switch to formula. If you think that this is the best thing for your situation, then you are doing the right thing.
Married to my soul mate, Mummy to one beautiful little girl, wishing for a little boy to complete our family.
Last edited by dee1; 14-12-2013 at 23:33.
15-12-2013 07:43 #17-
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- Apr 2012
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28-12-2013 20:56 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
I had a really tough time breast feeding.
So initially I was offering breast then giving expressed milk or formula. I hired lactation consultants cos I really wanted to breast feed. It took my daughter 14 weeks to get really good at it. It was very tough and I got post natal depression. So in the end you have to think about your health too!
28-12-2013 21:14 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
I have done both , and felt extremely guilty over formula feeding, until I had my sister and best friend speak to me...
2 things come to mind:
Baby is better off with a happy mummy, so if FF makes you happy, then baby will respond better.
Secondly (and I might get grilled for this on here), but it's not really about you (or me as it was at the time) It's about the health of the baby.. I was so fixated on bf ds2 that even though it wasn't working well for him, I just wanted to do it for me. So try to work thru any guilt you may feel and realize that if baby is happier on formula, it's ok
I'm sorry if I've come across a little abrupt, I don't mean to, just got 2 wiggly boys making a mess around me.
Good luck and smile
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01-01-2014 18:30 #20
I am in the same situation. My daughter is 5 weeks and we have had issues from the get go. Between me being on medication that means I have low supply and her not being able to suck or latch, we were BF and supplementing from pretty early.
You will get a tonne of opinions from everyone. It's great that your partner supports you and in the end that's all that matters. It breaks my heart when I see people fb with ease, and even had a moment about 10 mins ago where I just burst into tears. My husband said that you have to do what you feel is best and whatever makes you and your precious bundle happy! I have had some amazing support through these forums so keep chatting with people and in the end do whatever works for you! Your baby will thrive either way!!!
Good luck with whatever you decide!!
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