That wouldn't be acceptable for me, at all. I grew up around bad alcoholism, as did DH, so for years and years I had issues with any level of drinking.
Now I'll have a glass or 2 of wine maybe 4 nights a week. DH is a tea totaler. The kids have never seen either of us drunk.
Honestly, with the info you have given, severe binge drinking regularly, getting angry if he can't get drunk, taking sickies to get drunk mid week... it sounds like he has a problem.
A really good guide is asking yourself this - is his drinking impacting negatively on your family, his health, fiances, your marriage? if the answer is yes, then it's pretty safe to say he has a drinking problem and it needs to change.
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11-12-2013 14:37 #31
11-12-2013 14:47 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
jeez...are our DH's related??? my hubby used to say the exact same thing to me....but like you i had no desire to go out all night after i had children. my DH did this a lot after we had a first , all night benders and not get home til 4, 5 9am etc....its was extremely selfish and juvenile behaviour. i was on the verge of leaving him due to this and told him so....so he stopped. its not acceptable and its so irresponsible and selfish to expect you to put up with it, sets a very bad example for the kids and results in so much tension. sorry but he needs to build a bridge and get over the fact that his ligestyle must change now he has had kids...that doesnt mean he cant go out and have a good time, but you need to find a happy meduim..eg i told my DH i dont mind if he comes home at midnight but he must get up to kids with the kids in morning and getting blind drunk wasnt on at all ever unless we are away. he is missing out on spending time with his children and as a family....i told my DH i expected him be a "family man" when he had kids so that meant including sundays etc to GO OUT and not sit on the lounge hungover...its also very disrespectful of you. so no you are not unreasonable and telling you he would let you do the same does not mean its ok. good luck. its horrible..ive been there.
11-12-2013 14:47 #33Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Not acceptable at all. He needs help for his drinking.
11-12-2013 14:55 #34
I should add that we are not married. Having a kid sure does make it complicated though :-/
11-12-2013 15:04 #35
Red flags here too.
I agree.. Taking a sickie to drink is a major issue. Maybe once very 3-4 months would be acceptable for a session but at this frequency, I would be concerned. Also, he needs to overcome this issue so he can play an equal part in parenting. It's not fair for him to have so many recovery days at which time everything is left up to you. He says he would be more than happy for you to do the same, but you said it yourself - you don't want to.
I don't mean to pry but is it possible that he has depression and is attempting to alleviate this with drinking? I know he used to do it while he was working etc but I'm thinking that he has now become reliant upon alcohol.
I also agree that a liver function test may be a good wake up call.
11-12-2013 15:09 #36
11-12-2013 15:10 #37
The Following User Says Thank You to changethestars For This Useful Post:
11-12-2013 15:12 #38
11-12-2013 15:20 #39
My DH goes out drinking with his friends on Friday nights, it doesn't bother me because he's a great guy and very good to me and he is still young 32. I can understand that not everyone feels the same as I do so if it's an issue it's an issue that needs to be worked out and compromised. Why don't you try to get him to reduce the amount of times he does this rather make him stop altogether. You might get a good response from him.
11-12-2013 15:28 #40
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