I looked in the older children's forum but only two threads I there so...
DD is only 5 but I can see already that she is very similar to me and we already butt heads. Very similar to me and my mum. I was an absolute nightmare as a teenager ( but in my defense mum was a crazy alcoholic). Obviously DD will have the guidance and support I didn't but I look at her now I feel like the lovely bond we have now could so easily be broken in 10 years if I don't manage it correctly. Any advice from mums who have been through it? Or from those who are close to their own mums? I've had literally no experience with this having had such a bad role model.
Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 10
09-12-2013 22:56 #1
Fears for when DD hits puberty...
Last edited by CleverClogs; 09-12-2013 at 22:58.
09-12-2013 23:37 #2
Listen and not just with your ears. Her body language will tell you heaps.
Keep talking even when you think she is shut down.
Be involved in her life.
Know her friends. If you can get to know their mums too.
Make her feel like she has some say in her life and that what she likes/thinks is important.
Be open to any questions she has. Never make her feel silly or like it's tmi. Don't be afraid to say you don't know but you will find out and get back to her.
Always be the mum first and than the friend. Mums will tell what you need to hear where friends will often tell you what they think you want to hear.
Sent from my SM-N9005 using The Bub Hub mobile app
10-12-2013 02:43 #3
Oh OP I have the same fears! My mother wasn't too bad but we butted heads a lot and to this day I feel uncomfortable expressing any feelings towards her. I understand now there's other underlying issues. Some points that I wish to uphold with my children are:
show affection often and with joy.
have an open line of communication, talk about lots of stuff and feelings too.
never discipline in anger, punishments should be given out of love to teach.
In preparation for the teen years I am writing a diary for her, originally I thought I'd be something for her when she has kids but I think I would it to her if she started drifting away emotionally, in it I write about how much I love her and what challenges we go through as parents, I write about fears and proud moments I hope it would give her insight and hopefully make her feel loved and understand us somewhat.
11-12-2013 00:56 #4
That's a really good idea. I'm so scared that our relationship could be damaged if not handled correctly . My only saving grace is DH is a youth worker and used to working with difficult teens. He'll have to give me some pointers I think. I have a terrible relationship with my mum now. Although that's largely due to the drinking.
Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
11-12-2013 10:59 #5
I'm dreading when my 4 girls hit puberty eeekkk. I handled it pretty well, no PMT but was a bad endo sufferer so I'm hoping the girls never experience the pain I did.
11-12-2013 11:22 #6
11-12-2013 11:46 #7
11-12-2013 11:58 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
The Following User Says Thank You to ourbradybunch For This Useful Post:
11-12-2013 14:51 #9
hi cleverclogs, I think the relationship you have will of necessity go through changes. You will always be mum, but your daughter is going to go through all the physical, emotional, rollercoster that is puberty. I would just try to hang on. Keep the lines of communication open at all cost. Be as involved with her life as you can be. Met her friends, listen to her conversations even if they are nonsense. These days with all the devices for communication, encourage her to share with you, not lock herself away in the bedroom with the whole world getting into her head. The internet is probably the biggest threat to family life, and we just allow it too much freedom. Above all, don't just expect history to repeat itself. You are not your mother, and your daughter is not You. hugs, Marie.
The Following User Says Thank You to SuperGranny For This Useful Post:
12-12-2013 20:43 #10
By loodle in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 5Last Post: 29-05-2013, 18:56
By Janesmum123 in forum General ChatReplies: 26Last Post: 21-03-2013, 08:57
By Kahu in forum Premmie babiesReplies: 7Last Post: 01-02-2013, 00:18
Maternity ClothesLooking to buy maternity clothes? :: Check the bubhub directory of local & online maternity clothes shops :: Find ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Same sex parents or parents to be chat!Same Sex Parents
Cashless society - all for it, or disagree?General Chat
Career change - good idea?Working Hubbers - Employed
Funniest thing your kid has said to youGeneral Chat
Bbt chart thread #8Conception & Fertility General Chat
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
Tell me about Ringwood/Donvale etcGeneral Chat
Selling your house privately...General Chat