I know I havent got it as bad as some people TTC and I havent tried as long as some but Ive been struggling lately and I just need to get this off my chest.
We are onto our 29th month TTC baby #1, I have PCOS and this is my second cycle of Clomid. I feel very hopeless and like nothing is ever going to work. I have a follow up appointment with my Gyno in January and if Clomid hasnt worked for us by then he is referring us to a FS. DH and I have spoken about what this means and for us at this time in our lives we cant afford a FS or further treatment and Im really struggling coming to terms with that.
We recently got married and my MIL (who doesnt know weve been trying and is also not a very nice person) keeps pushing about us having kids stating "Theres no reason not to have any now that you are married" and its really been getting me down. I dont want her to know about my issues (she wants us to have kids because she doesnt get to see her other grandkids) and its like a knife to my heart anytime anyone says anything about babies to us.
I feel like Im never going to get the chance to have a baby and it hurts so much to think about. I feel really sh!tty thinking about our journey because I was 22 when we started and completely thought that I would have my first baby at 23. Im 25 in a couple of weeks and I thought I would be pregnant with my second child right now and I imagined my nanna (who passed away in April) would of met at least my first child and now she never will.
Im just feeling really hopeless and Im sorry for the big whinge post but I just needed to vent
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08-12-2013 17:15 #1
08-12-2013 17:30 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Your allowed to vent/complain. Can I suggest a couple of things for you to think about?
Firstly acupuncture/herbal remedies. I've had success with this however I don't have pcos & I'll be honest & say I know nothing about the condition.
Secondly a cheaper option for additional fertility help is Westmead Fertility Clinic in NSW. I've heard on here of women travelling interstate to go there as it's much cheaper.
I only offer these suggestions as it's hard enough stressing about fertility issues without feeling like your options for further treatment are limited due to finances.
I recently became pregnant after a 3 yr struggle. I'm now 15 weeks. It was my first month not trying & 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant I told my DH I was totally done on the ttc road. That enough was enough & it was time for us to shut that door & move on.
I was shocked to say the least seeing that super dark positive test
As for dealing with people I used to cry as it's definetly a knife in the heart being asked when your trying so damn hard to get pregnant.
Good luck & may the rest of your journey be short & less stressful.
08-12-2013 17:50 #3
I'm sorry you're struggling. It really does suck having problems TTC.
Have you looked at any public IVF clinics? Not sure where you are but in Sydney there's Westmead where out of pocket is only about $500 for an IVF cycle. There might be similar options where you live? We went to a private clinic and out of pocket was $1500 per cycle for the protocol we were on.
Maybe your DH could have a quiet word to your MIL, he doesn't need to say what the problem is, but maybe just that you'd love to have kids but it's not happening as you'd hoped so you'd both appreciate her being a bit more sensitive.
I hope it happens for you soon.
08-12-2013 17:58 #4
Thank you for your reply. I live in Brisbane, traveling to NSW for Fertility treatment isnt an option for us but thank you for suggesting it. I havent tried acupuncture/herbs, Its been suggested to me but Ive never really been willing to try it, I guess I kind of thought its probably not going to do anything so why bother? (I know, a negative way to think)
Ive been preparing myself for months and months that it may just never happen for us and trying to come to terms with it so I can move on but its so hard. My Gyno wasnt super helpful, hes given me clomid and told me to lose weight but then just said "Oh youre young so theres always IVF" which is definitely not an option for us! We dont have any spare money just laying around for any kind of treatment, I guess Im just really frustrated at my body for not doing what its supposed to.
08-12-2013 17:59 #5
Hi star. I agree with public fertility treatment as cheaper option
Have you had your vitamin d checked at all? Apparently 3/4's of people with pcos have a deficiency.
I had a look at your chart from last cycle. It looks really great with temp rise in 2nd half that will hopefully implant your bub really really soon
Some people just have no idea do they with their comments.
Maybe you could turn it around and ask her how long it took to conceive and whether she lost any
08-12-2013 18:04 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Please please please at least look into acupuncture/herbal side of things.
I hate to sound preachy but I truly believe it helped get us over the line, I'm thinking by improving my egg quality & uterus environment
08-12-2013 18:06 #7
Ow Starflame sometimes mother's in law can be a little bit insensitive. I echo the idea that maybe DH could just mention that things haven't been happening as you'd like and maybe she could be patient and be more careful about it. Hopefully she is just a little eager for more grandkids and hadn't considered that things aren't that simple.
I really know nothing about TTC for long periods of time but I do know the stress of finances for IVF and FS's and I do have suspected PCOS. really hope it doesn't come to you having to see a FS and your BFP is just around the corner; if it does come to needing the help of a clinic it I found that taking it one step at a time was all that kept my sane.
I really, really hope your bubba is just around the corner. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. You're allowed to feel this way and 2 years of TTC sounds extremely trying.
Treat yourself well OP. I have my fingers crossed for you.
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08-12-2013 18:12 #8
Kazza Im going through public at the moment. It took my 9 months to get my Gyno appointment! Ive had everything checked, I have a blood disease that means my iron is always a bit on the low side and my Vitamin D was low but I go out in the sun for a bit each day like my Dr told me. I really expected to ovulate earlier on Clomid, I was a bit disappointed that I didnt last cycle, I just dont know what to expect anymore.
My husband says that next time my MIL asks about grandkids we are going to tell her that we dont want any, she will stop mentioning it after that so thats the plan there. She got married this year as well and I kind of feel like turning around and saying well whats your excuse? Why dont you fall pregnant! Lol
ourbradybunch what does acupuncture actually do in regards to ttc? Ive not really looked much into it before. My Godmother has been suggesting EFT to me and it all just seems really hippyish to me haha
08-12-2013 18:21 #9
Acupuncture may be a cheaper option
Sending you lots of baby dust.
Last edited by Kazza78; 08-12-2013 at 18:34.
08-12-2013 19:18 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
To be honest I don't understand how it helps in a technical sense.
But the theory is that it helps regulate your cycle & improve egg quality. It's also rather relaxing lol.
For me it definetly helped regulate my cycle. I went I think 3 times a month for 3 months. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong but I think in regard to improving egg quality it's a longer term process ie 3 months?
Whilst I was doing acupuncture DH was also taking zinc & a multivitamin. I know that improving sperm quality is about a 3 month turnaround
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