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  1. #21
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    How your feeling is pretty common. So people have a change heart latter down the track and some don't.
    Either way only you can make that decision and what you decision you make will be the right one for you. There is no right or wrong.

    I had a only child for almost 6 years now i have 6 kids . That is what was right for me.

    Trust your instincts.

  2. #22
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    DS is nearly 6 months and my feelings flip-flop every day. He's so far an easy baby - unlike his big sister. I think if I could guarantee another easy bub I'd just go for it but it doesn't work that way!!

    I agree with PPs that the love doubles but YOU don't. I often feel torn as both my children need me and I need to choose who waits. While DD adores her little brother I can't break the laws of physics, I have less time for her now.

    I always said I'd stay open to a third but I feel like having another would be for purely selfish reasons as the 2 I have would miss out even more as time and resources would need to be split 3 ways.

    I'm 38 now so we can't wait another 4 years to TTC like we did last time but I just feel like it's a decision that shouldn't be rushed.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    I agree with PPs that the love doubles but YOU don't. I often feel torn as both my children need me and I need to choose who waits. While DD adores her little brother I can't break the laws of physics, I have less time for her now.

    I always said I'd stay open to a third but I feel like having another would be for purely selfish reasons as the 2 I have would miss out even more as time and resources would need to be split 3 ways.
    This is exactly how I feel!

  4. #24
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    I knew before I had DS that I only wanted one, I could not mentally cope with another.

  5. #25
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    I had DS and for 2 years I was really happy,then I started to get the feeling "someone" was missing.I can actually recall the exact time I felt it...it was when I was in the pool with ds1 and Dh,and I just remember thinking "we aren't complete yet".Funnily enough I was pregnant but didn't know it. Now I have 2 boys,and did consider a 3rd early on after DS2 but now I KNOW I am DONE!!! if I got pregnant now I would lose my ****,I don't want another child

  6. #26
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    After DD was born, I so did not want another child. She didn't sleep, ever, had silent reflux, I got PND - I didn't want DH coming anywhere near because the thought of having another baby absolutely terrified me. Once she was about 18 months old and sleeping better and I was feeling better I started getting pangs and we went on to have DS1 and then DS2 nearly four years after that. I'd love another but it's just not possible for me, so that's that.

  7. #27
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    I always thought I'd have two & with a small age gap... Then I had fertility issues & falling pregnant was hard, physically, mentally & emotionally. Labour & delivery was nothing like what I though, and 3.5years later I still shudder at the memories. My DS was then ill a lot, didn't sleep, cried heaps, the first 6mths was really full on, but eventually he/we turned a corner & it's been easier, still have moments, but nothing like the beginning.
    Because of this, I really struggle with wanting a 2nd. Hubby would love one & DS gets all excited when he see's babies, wants to cuddle & kiss them & although he is getting more & more independent there's a big part of me that hesitates at whether I could handle having two children... Most of our friends are onto their 3rd & I look at them & think 'so glad we only have 1'.
    I've never been a big 'baby' person, I don't overly like newborns, so only having one child doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother everyone else in my life.

    I think for me it's about "only time will tell" whether your willing to try again or be content with just the one child. I don't think there's any right or wrong, it's completely an individual choice.

  8. #28
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    I always wanted 2 even though I had an extremely rough time after DS1 was born. DH flat out refused and said there was no way he wanted to see me go through that again and he absolutely did not want a second. I'm not sure what changed his mind but we ended up conceiving DS2 when DS1 was 16 months old.
    After DS2 I toyed with the idea of a third and for about 6 months had convinced myself that I wanted a third. Then something changed (I bought a puppy, maybe that was it!) and I decided no. DH also had zero interest in a third. It was cemented for me recently when I got my period late and was lying awake in the wee hours almost having an aneurysm at the thought of having a third. The idea make me so anxious and upset. Weird given it was only a month or two earlier that I liked the idea.

  9. #29
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    Your bub is still so young!!! I'm not surprised the idea of more is far far from your mind.

    My dd is 3.5 and I'm STILL not ready for anymore!!!

    At the end of the day, your the one taking care of them so if you do/don't want more, either is completely acceptable.

    PS if you do have more you will love them all equally, love is abundant, there is ALWAYS enough for everyone x

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    MrsHoward (03-12-2013)

  11. #30
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    MrsHoward is offline If all I have is you, then I have everything
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    Its so lovely hearing everyones feelings and ideas on this subject...whichever way I look at it there is a happy ending im sure I guess only time will tell

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