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  1. #11
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    I was only ever having 1, my Dh wanted more, anyway after first natural conception we had issues falling with #2 and needed ivf. Our girls are 5 years apart and I love it. Selfish I know, but I just couldnt handle living my life with no kids if something tragic happened to my only child. I also thought about thier role as Dh and I age, at least the burden is shared and they have someone for support? That knows what they are going through. If you have time, just enjoy your baby, you will make whatever decision is right for you when the time is right.

  2. #12
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    I had the same feeling about not being able to share the love but that changed as soon as i set eyes on my second. A year ago I was happy with my two and decided we wouldn't have another. All that has changed now and we want another. Give it a while and once you see your baby grow and develop a personality you might change your mind

  3. #13
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    I'm very torn on whether we try for another child. I'm 34, so it does feel like the clock is ticking.

    I saw DS interacting with a baby girl today and he was so gentle with her. Makes me think he'd be a lovely big brother.

    It's a hard decision and something I can't take lightly.

  4. #14
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    I felt like this when I had just DD. Always wanted two but was so worried about how I'd love anyone else like I loved her. But once DS was born my loved doubled. It didn't halve. Then when DSS came I was even more concerned but now my love has tripped! I do feel sad that DD had to start sharing me when she was too young to understand why. She was 20m. There was a 5y and 3.5y gap with the last one and they understood a lot better. I only wanted two a DSS was a huge shock. But now I'd say he's the best thing to happen to our family and the best present I could have given the older two. The hardest thing is not being able to give them the time you want to. But the positive still outweighs the negative. I read a really good book specifically written for second time mums addressing the mum guilt and how things do change.. It's called One shoe , 3 socks and no hairbrush. ( or something like that). I really recommend it.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    MrsHoward (03-12-2013)

  6. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsoptomistic View Post
    I Selfish I know, but I just couldnt handle living my life with no kids if something tragic happened to my only child. I also thought about thier role as Dh and I age, at least the burden is shared and they have someone for support?
    Mrs Optimistic these are my two exact thoughts... ! Ive not really admitted the 'what if i loose my only child thought' to anyone as i thought i was weird for thinking like that... We are happy with the one but I think about the two things you mention above so I know deep down I don't think ill have only one (by choice...) But then I think are they the wrong reasons to have another baby...??? It's so hard... My little one is 3.5 so it's is on my mind alot lately...

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    mrsoptomistic (01-12-2013)

  8. #16
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    Give yourself more time and reassess it later. I only have 1 child and he is now 6.5yrs old. I dont feel complete and if i was given the chance to have another child, i would jump at it in a heart beat but i am extremely doubtful it will ever happen unless its a miracle.

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  9. #17
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    I often wondered whether I could love another child as much as ds1.

    After having ds2 I realized that the love doubles, you don't halve it between 2 kids.

    I only ever wanted 2, but I'm now 8 months pregnant I cannot wait to meet ds3! I'm so excited to share that love again, I think if it were purely just a question of 'love', I could have 10 kids, because I truly love them all the same amount.

    The other reason I like to have more than 1, is that they will have each other after Dh and I pass away.

    I'm very strong on family values, I don't see my sister every week as she lives far from me, but I'm glad I have shared my childhood with her.

  10. #18
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    I didn't read all the reply's (sorry) but I remember feeling this way after DS1. It lasted till he was maybe 18 months. But then the need to have more babies returned and then we tried for just over 12 months for DS2 so I was VERY ready for another baby by the time he came along.
    Your heart just gets bigger and there is twice as much joy and fear and happiness and noise. Now I want three times as much of all the good stuff so we are trying for number 3.

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    MrsHoward (03-12-2013)

  12. #19
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    After dd I had no desire for anymore kids and to anyone that asked I said to at least let me get past the first year with her to enjoy her!!
    When she was two I thought I was ready then found out I probably couldn't have anymore and having the choice taken away from me made me realise that I wanted another one. Fast forward two years and I am now having another with a 4 1/2 yr gap.
    Do whatever you want and in your own time sadly people will always comment if you have one child or lots of children, you can never win.

  13. #20
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    After having dd ive felt done and complete. I had a little scare one month and instead of feeling worried with a tinge of excitment like ive had in the past, i felt ill and was dreading the possibility.

    When i see a newborn i dont get clucky, i have a newborn nephew and he's cute and all but heck no, my uterus feels like it turns to stone instead of aching for another lol

    Thats how i know im done. I never want to go through all the newborn and baby stuff ever again.




    Mumma to two beautiful boys on the spectrum and one special little girl.


 

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