In the long term I guess it's about teaching him to get himself out of situations that are likely to trigger an outburst before the outburst happens - my dh is still learning this one in his 30s.
I would guess the pp is accurate in that its not "him" when he does it, it's like an instant snap into another person? In which case there is less time to identify the feelings in himself. The strategies we are trying are very gradually building up the time between thought or feeling and action... But the problem is four year olds don't yet have the brain development to judge outcomes, they are emotionally driven, and asd kids even more so.
It's a really tricky one and as I said, dh is still working on it years later. Good luck!
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18-12-2013 23:27 #11
19-12-2013 16:00 #12
Ds#2 is like two different kids in one.
When he is fine he brings us the most joy out of the three kids (that sounds terrible) but he has great character is extremely loving and funny. His smile lights up the room.
But when he snaps it makes me worry for the future. There is no time between, theres no real build up. Its 0 to atomic explosion in an instant
He has control issues anything that doesn't go his way BOOM!
At that point i remove him
From the situation and put
Him into his room. But he is screaming and going beserk as this is happening and any attempts to talk to him at all results in him screaming NO NO NO in a possessed demonic kind of way.
Eugh i dunno its horrid and its escalated so much since the 4 yr surge!
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19-12-2013 18:21 #13
Is he in daycare?
19-12-2013 21:42 #14
He goes to early intervention preschool one morning a week and preschool 2 days a week (next year will be 3 days)
He doesnt have these episodes at preschool but he does cry and also zone out or just flat out refusal. But no they are always really surprised and astounded when i mention any aggressive behaviour. They always just go on about what a beautiful boy he is. And he is when everything is in his control.
Next year is his school readiness year at preschool tho so they will force him to do stuff so i do fear his behaviour will change for them.
19-12-2013 22:04 #15
I haven't read all the responses, but have you tried stepping in when you see him ramping up and giving him alternate ways of responding? Basically feeding him what he should say or do next? Of course you can't always witness when it begins when you have your DD etc to attend to, and it relies on DS1 playing along too.
Does he see an OT or an autism advisor?
19-12-2013 22:38 #16
When he snaps theres no real chance to catch that before it happens
But when there is yes we do role play a lot. And he just screams will not repeat anything or play along, keeps screaming 'no' ds#1 gets involved but ends up getting hurt or told to shut up, or ds#2 gets in his face growling.
So again i remove him. Deal with a melt down, try to talk about it once he is calm, he doesn't comprehend much of it. Starts talking about his obsessions like nothing ever happened.
We do early intervention,
Advisor doesn't do anything. Ever.
19-12-2013 22:41 #17
The biggest difficulty is... If i try to talk about it with him he just doesnt get it, or if i say "you musnt hurt
Your brother" he says "i dont" and i'lll say "yes you punched him and it hurt him and he was very sad" and he says "i didn't do that" and if i insist... He has a meltdown. And will never ever admit he did it.
The kid is *** impossible.
19-12-2013 22:43 #18
Ive been in this world for so many years now, we do everything we can for these boys. But how can you make someone understand something they either cant understand or refuses to believe to the point where they are lying to themself?
20-12-2013 07:42 #19
21-12-2013 12:30 #20-
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
Social stories, that is ALL that helps DD ATM. Social stories about communication and how to respond appropriately & what to do when you don't get your own way etc.
One of our books is about 'accepting no as an answer', it specifies step by step what she must do & if she disagrees to ask again LATER. Just yesterday she had a massive melt down at the shops because she wanted something she couldn't have.
As you said, absolutely no point even trying to talk sense in the middle of the melt down, just damage control and remove her from the situation as quick as possible.
Once back in the car (after shed finished sobbing she was begging for a cuddle) I said 'mummy doesn't want to hug you right now, because you made me upset, do you know why I'm upset'
She rambled on about why she was upset, but in the end, acknowledged she didn't do a very good job 'accepting no', so we verbally ran through the social story and what to do next time.
She doesn't ALWAYS get it right, but 70% of the time she remembers and shopping has been MUCH easier
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