Daycare - What would you do?

[Isabellabean]

Obviously no one can answer this for me but in a similar situation:

I work 2 x consecutive overnight shifts per week (11pm - 6am) and since starting it in July have had lots of different care arrangements for DD each with upside and downsides. Well now a new year is approaching I am needing to lock in what to do next year but I have NO idea. So given the below option which do you think you would pick:

a) Long daycare centre - 20mins away from home, $40 oop per day. Has attended one day per week all of 2013 and likes it but will be moving rooms. Can put her in any days I want/need as long as I pick now.

b) family daycarer - 5mins away and will do pick up/drop offs - $30 oop per day. Attended for about 2months after I got this job. DD LOVES the carer and has friends there however I am a little uncomfortable about the level of supervision and the amount of time DD spent in her car doing other drop off/pick ups.

c) Ask MIL to have her one day per week. 20mins away, lives with her parents who are wonderful but elderly. MIL has a prior history of alcohol abuse and doesnt have a licence due to drink driving... MIL is a good grandmother though.

d) no care at all and just deal with the tiredness by going straight home to sleep after work (foregoing my exercise routine) and getting maybe 1.5 - 2hrs in the morning before DD wakes and then going to bed when DH gets home at 5pm and sleeping til 10pm on the night I have to work.

I dont want the poor child to have to be as moved/unsettled as she was this year so I know I need to pick and stick with it but I really have no idea as we want to save $$ and ttc #2 in 2014
For every option listed there are cons. Option A its the travel when I am tired in the morning and the fact that road in winter can be icy and dangerous. For B Its the what ifs of supervision and car travel. For C its the unreliability of MIL and the burden on her parents. For D its is DD better off going somewhere stimulating and fun rather than spending 2 days with a tired grumpy mum.

What would you pick?

*I should add if I later change my mind option A and most likely B would no longer have spots available

[cluckcluck]

Honestly, I'd go with option A.

[MsViking]

Option A would work best for me with the peace of mind and level of stability it offers.

[Meags82]

Honestly as a night shift worker I tried the getting an hour of sleep here and 4 hours there method between baby 1 and 2 and it nearly killed me. And I became a grumpy unhappy mum. I would at least do the day between your night shifts in long day care if you can only afford 1 day of care.

[tootiredtosleep]

I'd go option A with MIL as backup if your DD is sick. I work shift work and therefore am home during the day, but I found it too much to have the kids all day and then go to work. They both went to long day care and loved it.

[GirlsRock]

I think option A or B, but given your reservations about option B, then it would be option A for me. I think you are right in saying that DD would have a better time with some stimulation in some for of daycare on the days you NEED sleep after working n/s. I rule out option C because of MILs elderly parents and I think your DD would have a better time with kids her own age on a regular basis (if your MIL had a licence and could take her out to a park or to play somewhere it might be different).

[Isabellabean]

Thanks ladies. I was leaning towards A or D (with help occasionally from MIL (c) if required).

My only problem with 1 day at care - particularly with moving rooms - is that DD doesnt seem to make friends and the carers don't seem to try to get to know DD as much. Might sound silly but the last 3 weeks when DD has done 2days at option A I have spoken to the carers more than the whole year combined as they are asking questions (i.e does she sleep at home, she is doing this, making friends with xyz, see you tomorrow when we will do xyz and continue on with xyz) rather than just see you DD see you next week.

We can afford more than 1 day however given the loss of all FTB and decrease in CCB I am already working 1 night per fortnight for 'free' (iykwim) and by having 2 days in care that nearly makes it 2 nights of outgoings related directly to my work so I would be better just to quit or cut back to 1 night

[MsViking]

Still think option A is best. Maybe you just need to shop around for a better long day care if that's an option? My DD goes one day p/w and honestly they couldn't be more attentive, they are very good.

[Sub Rosa]

Do you have the choice of what nights you do? Because if you could do Thursday and Friday night, knowing that your DH/DP could take care of her Saturday while you caught up on sleep, you could have just one tired day to deal with. And if she still naps in the day, perhaps you could sleep then.
But I'd probably go for option A out of the other choices...

[Lalasmooch]

I'd go with option A too


Age 20, engaged, mummy to 3yo DS and TTC his sibling! Living life backwards