I'm so sorry OP.
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03-12-2013 12:27 #31Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Last edited by something; 16-03-2014 at 16:53.
03-12-2013 12:28 #32
I have been through almost exactly the same thing. Some 'men' are just absolute scum! Huge hugs, it will get better but don't expect it to within days or weeks or even months, time will make things easier but I don't think we ever truly forget the hurt.
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03-12-2013 14:28 #33
Wow what a low life.
He doesn't deserve you or his kids. What he did was beyond cruel.
Hold your head high and move on. At least you know now and not 2 yrs down the track after he had moved back in.
All the best op. Perhaps some counseling would help? Big hugs x
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04-12-2013 09:26 #34Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
hey, yes ex has a CHRONIC case of CFA.
thanks for asking how i'm going.
well it's been 2 weeks (tomorrow) since he told me. for the first 7 days i was nauseated (to the point of dry-retching in the toilet), couldn't eat, couldnt sleep until abt 2am each night, couldnt be alone and i was always calling people, couldnt talk about it without bursting into tears and i also couldnt really interact with the kids properly. i still feel like s.hit but that initial shock has passsed. it kind of got me thinking, and i guess have me new insight, as to how people who are in long relationships feel when they find out their partner has been having an affair for 12 months or something. the pain must be excruciating. anyway just a side thought. im dealing with it now, though sometimes it suddenly comes into my mind, and i have to stop for a moment and take a deep breath and let the pain pass.
we havent had much contact, though we have spoken. the last time i spoke to him, which was monday morning, he told me he is in a committed relationship with her and that she is looking forward to meeting his 2 older kids (8, 10) who are coming down (from QLD) to stay with him in january. ive got to say, this did hurt me to hear... as if she wants to meet them, pfft please. ive known these kids longer than ive known my ex because that's how i met him. and they're going to play happy families bulls*it, when he only bloody sees this kids once a year.
what hurts most is when i think abt the things we did actually do together, and who is going to replace that. like when we'd go out for family activities, even if i did have a new partner, he wont treat my kids like his own... carrying them on his shoulders and taking them to the toilet and stuff. when he did spend the night here the kids and i would all snuggle up in my bed, or he'd tuck them in at night or give them a bath. even if i do find a new partner, that stuff i cant imagine he'd do. so i feel like he has left a gaping hole that can not be filled. and the truth is, i still really love him. this only happened 2 weeks ago and i really have loved him with all my heart since not long after i met him. and also, where the f*** am i going to meet someone? i mean it's great for him to go gallivanting all over the place, but i literally cant leave the house after 6pm every single night of the friggin week, so i dont get the opportunity to meet prince charming.
so i suppose im still really coming to terms with it. im still very hurt, very angry and feeling very sorry for myself. i think i'm even bordering on being a man-hater. 25 and a man-hater, what a catch.
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