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  1. #31
    rainbow road's Avatar
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    Oh god that's the worst isn't it? when DD2 was about 3 weeks old I was driving home from the shops and she screamed for 5 minutes and like you I was in tears. She was doing that horrible scream where not even a lot of sound comes out because she was crying so hard. Worst thing ever
    Broke my heart! I'm never driving more than ten minutes away again!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamtam View Post
    Maybe she meant that it can be normal for a newborn to cry 4 hours in a 24hr period or something. .. as opposed to all in one go???
    Seems very strange advice...I don't even think old school nurses would say 4 hours straight crying is okay.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    This is what Im thinking? They say the average baby can cry up to 3-4 hours a day maybe thats what the nurse meant. If she meant 4 hours straight then yeah that's the worst advice I have heard!

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    I am aware babies can cry for that long all up throughout the day but she was more then happy to just let him cry without settling because the midwife told her so.

    I spoke to her today and she told the Dr doing the rounds and his advice was speak to the private midwife on Monday when she visits and told her to cuddle and settle him as much as she likes! Not to listen to the older midwife as she has had some issues in the past.

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    sockstealingpoltergeist  (24-11-2013),SuperGranny  (25-11-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Broke my heart! I'm never driving more than ten minutes away again!
    I was a sucker with my dd I used to pull over and feed her or comfort her even if I was only 5 minutes away. Ds as horrible as it sounds id keep going home bless x it took me until he came along to realise I wasnt doing any harm.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Broke my heart! I'm never driving more than ten minutes away again!
    I have had to pull over numerous times to feed just to settle ds, just find a shady spot and off you go

    β™₯me & him = ds 17/9/2013β™₯

  8. #36
    EternalOptimist's Avatar
    EternalOptimist is offline Never say you have failed until you have reached your last attempt; never say you have reached your last attempt until you have succeeded.
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    Quote Originally Posted by haveheart View Post
    My bub only cries when she wants something so going by what that nurse said I'd have to let her cry when she has a dirty nappy or is hungry which is just stupid. The whole point of her crying is because she can't communicate, sometimes I won't pick her up immediately but never let her cry too long before I check her. 4 hours is way too much in my opinion.
    Also just take what people (even nurses) say with a grain of salt and do what feels comfortable and natural to you and your bub!
    ^^^^ so so true.

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    Leaving a little baby to cry this long will stress it out big time, flooding the body with stress hormones, and also completely breaks its trust in the parent. Can cause psychological trauma to my understanding if done regularly.

    It's also pointless. A baby that age will not learn anything from being left to cry other than its needs won't be met.

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    However, just to throw a spanner in the works, there is a theory called 'crying in arms', an attachment - parenting style approach to helping babies resolve stress and trauma through crying. Here is a link to some more info about it ...

    http://www.hobomama.com/2011/07/awar...-with.html?m=1

    And

    http://www.peaceful-parent.com/artic...rens_cries.php


    Or google 'crying in arms'.

    An interesting approach.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamtam View Post
    Maybe she meant that it can be normal for a newborn to cry 4 hours in a 24hr period or something. .. as opposed to all in one go???
    Seems very strange advice...I don't even think old school nurses would say 4 hours straight crying is okay.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Exactly this. Given your friend just gave birth, maybe she misheard he midwife. Babies with colic especially can often cry for that long, or more every day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TreeGirl View Post
    However, just to throw a spanner in the works, there is a theory called 'crying in arms', an attachment - parenting style approach to helping babies resolve stress and trauma through crying. Here is a link to some more info about it ...

    http://www.hobomama.com/2011/07/awar...-with.html?m=1

    And

    http://www.peaceful-parent.com/artic...rens_cries.php


    Or google 'crying in arms'.

    An interesting approach.
    Seems to make a little sense for an older baby or toddler, but newborns don't have intense emotions, they have physical and psychological needs to be met.

    I get that sometimes babies cry lots and no matter what we do they still cry, but not even attempting to help seems to go against every instinct wet have as parents. Think I will stay clear of this style.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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