I would be worried about the situation to. I have a 13 1/2 year old boy.
Needless to say there is no way in 1 1/2 years I'ld let him be in this situation.
The children these days don't have the same sense of responsibility and consequences of their actions.
After reading all your posts you clearly have a reason to believe she might not make the best decisions, if it were me I'ld go with my gut feelings and do what I thought would keep her safe.
People used to tell me I need to relax more because I refuse to get a babysitter that was younger than 17. They even used to laugh at me because my babysitter was a carer at my child are centre who I would pay $15 an hour to babysit for me. I didn't care because I know I was comfortable with my decision and knew that if something went wrong they would be capable of handling the situation.
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17-12-2013 16:26 #51
17-12-2013 16:51 #52
I'd trust my gut and get her tbh.
I think the issue is that the other mother lied. If she had been up front and said she was going out then the OP could have made the call in the begining if it was ok to leave her daughter or not.
In all likelyhood the girls would have been fine - but to me - if the mum is prepared to lie to another mum - what else is she allowing? (wink wink - theres some UDLs in the fridge and have the boys gone by midnight???) It might have been a night of nail polish and movies - I'd just rather know the facts up front.
17-12-2013 17:23 #53
The issue here is not really the teenagers being left alone, that's totally dependent on maturity, past experiences, etc etc
The being lied to by another parent, massive alarm bells. I'd address it with the parent to be honest. Sounds like you are a great parent if your teenage daughter is confident enough in your relationship to give you a call and let you know when she feels uncomfortable about a situation.
17-12-2013 20:30 #54
I'd have a chat with her about why she lied.
It might be that she thinks you're being over-protective by not allowing a bunch of fifteen year olds to be unsupervised, but didn't feel comfortable raising the issue with you.
Oh yeah, and well done on raising a teenager that honest! When I was her age my recreational activities included motorcycles, alcohol and general rowdy carousing. Never came to any (serious) harm from it mind you, but I wasn't exactly chatty with my parents about it
21-12-2013 13:32 #55Senior Member
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- Sep 2013
It's not like that at all. I do worry about her but I let her do stuff and I used to check on her a lot less than I do now but after an incident that happened last year i realized that i really needed to double check with parents about wjats going on. This woman doesn't know me enough to assume I'm over protective and even if she had that opinion after 1 conversation that still doesn't give her the right to make the decision to lie to me like that. Anyway I ended up letting her stay regardless because I do trust her. Can't say the same for the mother. But I'm really over it now.
21-12-2013 14:49 #56
If it was me, yes, I'd be ****ed at the sneaky ness of the friends mother and a little bit impressed that I'd brought up such a responsible daughter
When I was 15 I wouldn't have called...
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21-12-2013 15:29 #57Member
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- Aug 2013
My 18 year old sister is about as mature as I was when I was 12. No one here but the OP knows the maturity level of her daughter, therefore cannot judge.
When it comes to teenagers, even the most sensible child 'could' be swayed to do something wrong or dangerous by the right people. Especially when 'friends' are frenemies half the time.
I would confront the mother, tell her you don't appreciate being lied to and that any future sleep overs are to be at your place under your supervision.
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