DH stayed by my side the whole time during both labours. I don't think the poor guy even went to the toilet! He gave me a drink between each contraction and also an ice cold washer to drape around the back of my neck. That's all I wanted. No talking or touching, just his presence and those few things.
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21-11-2013 20:43 #11
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21-11-2013 20:46 #12
That really focus on what the male is doing, or if it was we hadn't taken much notice. I will see if I can find some.
The ones I have seen are where the husbands are just holding their wives and talking softly to them and I haven't noticed them doing much else.
21-11-2013 20:59 #13
DH was a brilliant support person. While at home he got me any food/drink I wanted, made sure I was comfortable, put on shows he'd downloaded for me, walked with me. At hospital he held my hand while I shook it during contractions and encouraged me. He basically did everything I asked! Then for the delivery our OB got DH to 'catch' DD as she came out.
21-11-2013 21:21 #14
I did hypnobirthing with both labours. For my 2nd labour I was separated from my ex and had a friend who was there for the last 2 hours. I got her to rub my back a few times during contractions but the rest of the time I needed my own space. I could have done it on my own just using hypnobirthing. Study up and make sure you know what you want from dh so you can tell him directly. He may be a bit clueless.
21-11-2013 23:51 #15
Draw him a diagram of things he could do to help - like a one page birthing info sheet. Stick it on the fridge. Eg, rub back, helpful phrases, hot towels, massage etc. Include some info about the stages of labour - make it all factual information. Tell him what you expect, and quiz him on your strategies. Before you hit transition, make bets about what time you will hit transition and what time bubs will be born.
21-11-2013 23:56 #16
You may find with your second bub hubby will step up. Dp was useless with my first birth. He didn't know what to do so just stood near me. Mum gave him suggestions of things like rubbing my back ect, but I didn't want to be touched.
With my second he had an idea of what it was like and what I liked/disliked so took it upon himself to help me. He counted me through contractions (and told me when to stop the gas) then during pushing He leaned close to my face and counted with me and breathed with me, nice and deep and gently reminded me to relax my body. I couldn't have done it without him.
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22-11-2013 07:22 #17Senior Member
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- Jul 2010
I gave my husband specific tasks.
1. Timing. He was in charge of the stop watch timing length & gap between contractions. Once he knew how long a contraction was (ie 60 secs) he then would help me count 10sec,20sec,1/2 way, only 20 to go then he'd count down the last 10. Really helped as felt like I could get through 10 seconds of anything.
2. Bags. He packed the final items in our bags & was responsible for in/out of car & getting items in/out when needed.
3. Drinks. He physically offered me a sip (alternating water & power aid and later juice) after each contraction.
4. Tens. He put the tens machine on & in later stage of labour pressed the button & adjusted the settings as required.
5. General support. Held my hand & reminded me abt breathing.
I was adamant he was not to leave the room at any stage & we also had a plan if a c section was needed.
Best of luck
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Little Miss Sunshine (22-11-2013)
22-11-2013 07:24 #18Senior Member
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- Jan 2013
My DH was just there, interested and supportive and that was all I wanted. He got me water, and stayed close the whole time. I didn't want to rubbed, touched or coached through contractions much but I needed him there to help me feel safe and secure. You need to think about what you want from him and tell him clearly. Try and remember what you desired most last time - was it physical support or just more emotional support through him seeming more engaged in the process? It can be daunting for them- their wife is in extreme pain and they can't fix it which can be paralysing for many men. In early labour my hubby annoyed me by being too close and timing contractions which I found distracting- I ended up sending him out to mow the lawn
22-11-2013 07:37 #19
My husband had some specific things to do- I asked him to remind the midwives that I did not wish to birth flat on my back (I had SPD and read that birthing like this could cause me problems), he was to remind me not to "push with my face" and say "coffee plunger" to remind me how to push effectively (Juju Sundin's Birth Skills) and he was to remind the midwives to delay cord cutting.
During my prelabour he walked me up and down the street, made me laugh, got me drinks and ridiculous snacks ( toobs, crackers and dips?? Lol), ran me a bath and helped me in and out, took me to hosp.
In labour- he held my hands, dried me after my brief attempt at a shower (got in then needed to push), got me water, tissues, spoke to me softly with words of encouragement, rubbed my back and was just there for me 100%
22-11-2013 07:57 #20
I didn't ask dh for anything or tell him what to do, but he is the kind of person that knows what to do in these situations and he was amazing. Rubbed my back, held my hand, told me when to push, told me to concentrate on my breathing & not waste my energy on screaming which actually really helped. He never left my side
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