Our DD had a really rough start with silent reflux and other health problems. We went to sleep school at 4 months and started losec and things have been heaps better since but I still have lots of anxiety around her sleeping and feeding. It is making problems between my DH and me. I feel really alone in caring for her, he takes no interest in any of her problems, is just happy to be there for the 'fun stuff' but when she is crying or refusing to feed it is always my problem. I know how important it is for her to stick to a loose routine, but he is always telling me to chill out and relax. But when she gets overtired I am always stuck settling her!
I feel like a lot of my anxiety comes from feeling alone. My DH thinks I need medication. I am not sure, I feel like he just wants me to take pills so I can be happy rather than actually address any problems. I've booked an appointment with a counsellor next week. I don't know what to do in the meantime!
For those of you who have had anxiety - how did you know you needed medication? Did someone suggest it to you or did you realise it yourself?
I am so confused
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20-11-2013 12:08 #1
Anxiety - how do you know when you need medication?
20-11-2013 12:11 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
Married to my soul mate, Mummy to one beautiful little girl, wishing for a little boy to complete our family.
20-11-2013 12:40 #3
i didnt realise i had anxiety untill i had a sleep specialist work with dd and myself when dd was about 5mths old.
She noticed i was always on edge, loosing weight, looking for problems that were not there, worrying - constantly, tired but unable to sleep or rest. I would fleet as soon as i heard DD make the tiniest whimper.
I basially felt like my heart was about to pump out of my chest 24-7. Something told me i didnt feel right but just thought "im low on sleep, dd doesnt sleep or feed well, im just stressed and a first time mum worried about everything".
The sleep specialist bought it up gently with me. She suggested i go have a chat to GP about how im feeling. The GP gave me some techniques to use rather than putting me on medication straight away.
The sleep specialist was also a wonderful help - she kinda acted like therapy lol so the fact you are seeking counselling is going to be a great help to you. It was for me.
I used the management techniques i learned with DD for DS as my anxiety returned with him. When i had put him to bed and he woke 10mins later crying out, i would continue on with what i was doing for a moment, EG: finish peeling a spud. THEN go into him. 9 times out of 10 the crying lessened before i even got to his room, he no longer needed me.
I used to keep myself busy during my high anxiety times - which were while DD was sleeping (she never slept long). I would worry about how long she'd sleep, when she'd wake, why she'd wake, what would i do, what would i do for the rest of the day, is she hungry, is she overtired, is it refux, i should peep in and check her, i wont start this or do that because she will wake up any minute, i'll sit here and wait for her to wake....it was a cycle that went through my head every single day and night. Because i was constantly listening out for her to make ANY noise, i was going into her thinking i heard her and actually disturbing her!
Keeping my mind busy (scrapbooking!) made me stop thinking like this. Before i knew it 2 hours had passed and DD was still ASLEEP!
Unklike you, i had a very supportive DH, although he had no idea i was suffering anxiety - neither did i!
im sorry you DH is struggling to be of support. Maybe he needs the counselling too?
My anxiety creeps back in times of stress, but i can manage it myself. Sometimes all it takes is to tell DH i need a moment, can he give me 10mins to have a shower/cup of tea/walk around the block, alone.
If it happens when im home alone, im not as hard on myself, i take a step back and ask myself is this situation as bad as im making it out to be? Take a breath, walk out of the room if i have to, then return and confront the problem.
If im calm, my kids are calm. Its amazing how our moods can impact our children's behaviours.
Its hard now, but it gets easier. All the best.
I hope you can get the support you need.
edit: to this day i have never needed medication for my anxiety. My GP will review at any check ups i have for me or the kids.
For me it was alot about mind control and not being so hard on myself.
I live away from family and dont have any close friends, so i am somewhat alone, but i am not lonley. I get out there and be social with my kids at playgroups, mother's groups, rhyme times, swimming school, for their benefit mainly, but its good for me too!
Have you got a mother's group? Would you like to try and get out a litte more?
Being home with a young baby can become very consuming and lonley.
Last edited by Mr Hankey; 20-11-2013 at 13:00.
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22-11-2013 20:27 #4
Thanks mr Hankey
a lot of our anxiety sounds similar! I too sit there while she is asleep constantly checking the clock and worrying. I do have a mums group but it is a bit irregular, this week I went and it was only me and one other lady. Also it often clashes with DD's sleep time so we sometimes don't make it. I do try to go out to shops etc at least once a day and I always pop DD in
her pram and walk the dog. Fresh air does make me feel better. I like your idea of keeping busy during sleep times, now to think of something to do! I do housework etc of course but it doesn't take up the whole time plus I can't really do anything too noisy.
i am nervous about the counselling I've never been before but also looking forward to it. Getting DH to come along in the future is a good idea too.
I am hoping that like you I won't need medication and can just change my thinking a bit, and maybe change my DH's a bit too!
thanks again for the advice
22-11-2013 20:40 #5
From what you've said, I think you'd benefit more from some sort of relationship counseling.
Anxiety medication has it's place, and I've been on it... but to me, it sounds like meds won't help because it's not an irrational reaction you're having to a normal situation (which happens when you have an anxiety disorder). Instead, it sounds like it's a normal reaction to a stressful situation where you're not being supported. It's not irrational and because of that, I think medication wouldn't work because it's not about you and your brain not doing the right thing.
I have an anxiety disorder, and while I can get anxious about normal situations (a bit TOO much so), I control those on my own. It's when I start to break down over STUPID things that DO NOT MATTER, that NORMAL people do not freak out about like it's the end of the world, that's when I need medication. I'm talking crying in Coles because I honestly don't know whether or not I should do the 2-for-1 Jatz deal or just get 1 pack instead. I mean shaking so badly that I throw my phone from my hand because we're in slow-moving traffic and DP looks out the window vaguely at another car, and I notice there's an attractive woman in there, and surely he is about to get out of the car and leave me for her. Very irrational responses to very mundane situations, basically. I took a pill because it wasn't my environment that was doing that... it was me.
In your case, it sounds like a lot can be done before medication is even vaguely considered.
23-11-2013 19:52 #6
Thanks SassyMummy. I am just so confused! I really hope the counsellor will help me sort things out. Everything is really starting to get me down
Lucky I have people on BH to get my feelings out to, I struggle so much to talk about them in real life. None of my family or friends would have any idea I feel this way.
Anyway, that's enough sooking, I'm off to eat my feelings in the form of macaroni and cheese hehe
edited to add - mac and cheese tasted like dirt what to do when even that doesn't make me feel better
Last edited by MillieMollyMandy; 23-11-2013 at 20:16.
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