I would take them. My grandfather died earlier this year and my young cousins came (10, 7, 5, 1) and were great. The 3 eldest understood what was happening and were very curious about what was happening. The 2 boys even wanted to see him one last time but we missed the viewing before the service. A DVD was made of photos to music and the eldest girl loves watching the DVD. It was actually during the morning tea after where the kids started getting ratty. It was wet and the area was small and loads more people than expected turned up. I think it's a perfect opportunity to explain death and the circle of life plus gives your DD the perfect opportunity to say one last goodbye.
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20-11-2013 11:35 #31
20-11-2013 11:39 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
I agree with the others, death is a natural part of life, the whole children should be seen and not heard is silly if you ask me. Children have every right to say goodbye, just like anyone else and they shouldn't miss out on an important part of the grieving process just because they are kids. I'd take them, don't worry wht that guy says.
20-11-2013 11:57 #33
I think it's a very personal thing and it's completely up to you OP!
i didn't take DS to my paternal granparent's funerals - he was 1 and 2 at the times. But without a doubt I will take him to my maternal nanna's funeral when the time comes. He is very close with her and I'm pretty sure he is her favourite person in the whole world, she adores him. I hope that is no time soon though
sorry for your loss
20-11-2013 12:01 #34
I don't see the harm if your DH is willing to step outside with them if they get disruptive. It is the kids chance to say goodbye, and since it's their grandmothers funeral they do have every right to be there.
20-11-2013 12:38 #35
In this situation I think it depends on who the person is saying no kids. If it is your Grandfather then you should respect his wishes, but if it is just a random family member then they don't get a say.
You mentioned that everyone else in the family expects kids so why is this one person having such an impact?
20-11-2013 12:38 #36Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
I took my young kids to my dad's funeral. It was fine. No one cared when they made a noise, we just walked around at the back. Small-ish funeral. Actually, it was comforting to everyone, even at the graveside. People commented about how much nicer it was to have them there, "Not like in the old days, where kids were discouraged from attending, or had to 'behave'". My SIL commented that it was healthier than when she was not allowed, as a kid, to attend her own dad's funeral. It generated, she said, a kind of fear within her. I'd encourage you to take them
20-11-2013 12:45 #37Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
i agree children should be aware of death etc that it a normal part of life and yes should go to funerals..after all its a family event....hence we took out two children 3yo and 14 months to my dads funeral....however i agree also that it is very broing for the kids and i hadnt made any hard and fast plan about who would look after them ..major mistake because my DH had to take them outside so actually missed the ENTIRE funeral and i didnt have his support while sobbing away inside the chapel....mind you it was massive funeral unlike what u said your nan's will be so that it made it harder for my situation...so yes take them by all means but have a plan and a backup...after all you may want your DH with you and he may not even be anywhere near you during the entire service if he is looking after the kids.
20-11-2013 13:04 #38
For those who feel it is inappropriate to take children to funerals, do you have the same opinion of having children at weddings?
I don't really get it to be honest.
We attended FILs funeral with our then 3yo & 14mth old. My 3yo picked the quietest part of the funeral to ask very loudly about why Papa was in the box. I quietly answered his question and nobody blinked an eyelid.
Children are children. Any reasonable person understands that.
20-11-2013 13:22 #39
I think it's inappropriate to bring children along only if you're not terribly close and your kids will muck up. Attending your grandmother's friend's aunt's funeral with your feral kids isn't cool. Attending your OWN grandmother's funeral with your kids (feral or otherwise) is fine.
20-11-2013 19:18 #40
I would take them.
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