My son has high function autism and is 8. There's one boy in his class constantly picking on him.
This boy tends to call him names and push him.
It's got to a point my son refuses to go to school.
The teacher is awesome by dealing with the conflict. However it's still going on. The teacher spoke to this child three times last week plus the class and know this morning.
This child still bullying my son.
What else can we do? I'm seeing the teacher at lunch so I want more action.
Maybe bring in the principle? Suspension?
What are suggestions or ideas? I'm desperate please help.
I want this kid to stop.
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18-11-2013 09:24 #1Gday Australia
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Steps to deal with a bully
18-11-2013 09:50 #2
Ask the school to bring in the bullies parents? I hope it stops soon.
18-11-2013 09:52 #3
18-11-2013 09:56 #4
My advice (as a special ed teacher):
Ask for a meeting to be set up with your child's teacher and the principal. Get your DS (if he is able) to write down the things this boy has been saying and doing to him. Help your DS to do this, as being specific with exactly what happened and when helps. Take this record to the meeting so you can discuss a plan of action with the teacher and principal. Don't leave the meeting until you are satisfied a positive plan for dealing with the bullying has been put in place. Schedule a follow up meeting for say in a fortnight to discuss how things are going. Record any further incidents carefully and bring them to the teacher and principals attention immediatly.
The school should arrange for both your DS and the bully to see a counsellor or other appropriate person (separately of course), for the bully to discuss how to modify his behaviour, and a session may be useful for your DS as bullying can obviously affect self esteem etc.
Hope this all stops soon for your DS and he is able to enjoy school again.
18-11-2013 09:56 #5
There are a few things you can do. One is to write a letter of complaint to the Principal. After all, you have approached the teacher and while she has acted in some capacity, the threatening behaviour is continuing so you move up the chain of command.
In that letter, I'd be highlighting what has happened, what you would like to happen and how you expect the school to facilitate this. They must act and they must follow up with you. In addition, you should ask for incident reports. The teacher should be reporting incidents of bullying behaviour.
Suspension doesn't really help kids, I find. It only succeeds in isolating them further and/or it prevents them from facing their issues so I'm not really a huge fan of this form of punishment. I would encourage facilitated dialogue between both boys and between you and the parents if at all possible with a view to arriving at a workable solution for you all. For example, this might mean moving the offending child to another class or arranging an anti-bullying programme for him or increased parental involvement in terms of correcting the boy's behaviour.
I'd be keeping a little diary recording all the events in terms of who you communicated with, when etc as well as the alleged incidents that have occurred at school to your son.
I would also seek the support of any medical practitioners you have in your corner so as to be able to formally document the stress your son is under and why as this can be very helpful.
I tend not to rely solely on phone calls or ad hoc meetings as a paper trail gives you better back up but if you cannot avoid verbal communication, make sure you either attend a meeting with a notebook or follow up a phonecall with notes in your diary. This will help you remember and/or report everything accurately and written communications tend to make people treat the issue and you more seriously.
18-11-2013 10:54 #6Gday Australia
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
So I'm waiting to hear from the teacher and I think a meeting with the principle should be the next step.
Counselling is a great idea!!!!
I will let everyone know how I go.
I'm just feeling do stressed
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18-11-2013 12:21 #7Gday Australia
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Ok latest update. There was an incident on Friday and my son was so upset. His autism really stops him from communicating which makes it hard for us to help him.
My son said this kid pushed him and my son pushed back and this kid pushed him harder so my son ran away.
And the bully said he looked at my son and my son grabbed him by the shirt and spun him around and ran off
My son is no angel but I don't think he would lie. It's been over the weekend and I think he would of said the truth by now.
My son doesn't think of hurting someone and lie then lie about it. He does lie in regards to him cleaning his room.
There is a record of This boy name calling and harassing my son.
What to do from here?
19-11-2013 01:50 #8
OP, write it down. Keep a diary of a record of events. Look at the suggestions that people have made to you in the previous posts and work out a strategy.
Don't be concerned about who's lying and who isn't just now. Determine instead what the facts are from the Principal and move towards an outcome that satisfies you and ensures that your child is safe when he's not with you.
Like you have mentioned in your other post, a meeting with the principal and move from there. I think MillyMollyMandy's advice is well worth following.
19-11-2013 05:41 #9
Write down every incident and date it, write down the meetings you have had with the teacher and make an appointment to see the principal via phone and back up with an email of all the incidents, meetings and dates.
Meet with with principal and ask about actions the school will take and what you need to do to support the school.
Good luck OP, it sounds stressful.
19-11-2013 06:33 #10
My ds is getting bullied at school by this one boy. It's really heartbreaking. I've spoken to the teacher who is doing her best to watch out for my ds and has also been talking about "bullying" in class which has been helpful but haven't entirely stopped it.
My ds is far younger than yours and the kid that's bullying him is only 5 and a half. Ds is such a sensitive kid and I suspect he has some form of autism however he has never been diagnosed. Bullying is something that really worries me with him and I know I can't always be there to protect him so I've been trying to build his resilience so when it does happen, he has a set of skills to deal with it.
I have been discussing "tactics" with my ds. We practise ways to deal with bullying at home and my son tries them out on me. They might not always work... But my ds "feels" more confident having a plan. I have been googling "bully proofing" your child and many articles say that building resilience in your child is essential so that bullying doesn't have lifelong effects on confidence.
I know this isn't going to really help in your current situation but it might help your ds have some ways to deal with it if it happens in the future and stop some of the harmful effects bullying can have of a child's self esteem and confidence.
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