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17-11-2013 15:46 #41
Last edited by FearlessLeader; 17-11-2013 at 15:48.
17-11-2013 15:48 #42
I haven't read all the posts but I would look into why it makes her angry and get her some help for this
17-11-2013 15:54 #43
17-11-2013 17:32 #44
Thank you for all your response.
On regards to her getting help- she is and has been since the start of the year. She has come so far and we are so very proud of her. She has severe depression and PTSD. She has never accepted professional help until earlier this year when thankfully we managed to find a psychologist who is brilliant with her. She has really come in leaps and bounds. At times she says to me "I don't want to go anymore" and can get quite cranky about it, but I remind her that its not negotiable- as the person who is responsible for her, it's my duty of care to make sure she gets the help she needs. I've told her I don't care if she goes and doesn't speak- the important thing is she goes (and even when she doesn't want to, she does always end up talking which is great). I have also had some sessions with the psychologist, both with sil and on my own, and the psychologist has pointed out that having a stable, loving home and being at the point she is (ie dealing with her past for the first time), has put her back to the emotional state she was in when it happened but the fact she speaks to us now, lets us know she is comfortable and trusts us enough to open up which is HUGE for her. She is slowly getting better, and has a long way to go but the fact she is at the point now where she knows no matter what she does, we aren't giving up is a huge deal. Her mum passed away last month so I am trying to be a bit more gentle in my approach at the moment. She has been making an effort to keep her anger in check (goes into her room, goes for a skate up the road etc)... She is getting better.
I'm in way concerned about her with our younger 2- she adores them. She adores dd1 but dd1 is also a lot more full on than the others and even we as her parents have to walk away sometimes. They clash a lot, I think because they are so similar. As much as they fight and carry on, they can also be the best of friends (until dd1 does something to annoy sil or vide versa). No different to any other siblings I guess. Thinking back, my sister and I were the same.
The stepping in, I guess, is more frustrating than concerning. Especially with DH working away. I think in her mind she is probably trying to help, but I struggle to get it through to her that its not her place.
Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate your input
Me + He =
DD1, DD2, DD3 & bun in the oven due May 2014
17-11-2013 17:42 #45
17-11-2013 18:01 #46
17-11-2013 18:08 #47
17-11-2013 18:17 #48
It sounds like she's not trying to be the patent but just reacting.
In the situation she reacts the way she feels at the time. Sounds like she's acting like an older sister. I used to smack and yell at my 7 yr old sister when I was 15 because that's just how I reacted.
I'd say she needs to be treated like your daughter. But due to her past it needs to be tough love. Restrictions explains what her actions cause and make your dd1 feel.
But it sounds like your doing as good as you can.
My parents used to strip my room bare besides my bed and clothes if I didn't listen and follow there rules.
Asha 26, William 13 months
17-11-2013 18:18 #49
Also could have anger management issues
Asha 26, William 13 months
17-11-2013 18:26 #50
Last edited by SheWarrior; 17-11-2013 at 18:34.
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