It's really hard. I know a lady who's husband passed away unexpectedly when she was 14 weeks pregnant and she loves that his legacy lives on through their beautiful son.
But I don't know how I would handle a pregnancy by myself, given that I would already be in an incredibly emotional state. I think it would be too much for me.
I think for our family, we wouldn't. Because we already have a daughter together.
Married to my soul mate, Mummy to one beautiful little girl, wishing for a little boy to complete our family.
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17-11-2013 08:25 #31Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
17-11-2013 08:40 #32
bugger just wrote a reply and lost it!
Who really discusses this topic with their other half. I don't know too many unless you're using ivf or have to freeze sperm due to medical reasons. eg. cancer treatment. Most people think they will live a long healthy life. Put your hand up if you've discussed this with your other half....I don't think it would be too many. Yes it will be discussed a bit more now as the topic has been raised and people will talk about it and then it will be forgotten.
Dh and I saw this particular story years ago when we were ttc our first. It was the first time either one of us heard about it. DH left me a note on my bedside table the next morning giving his permission for me to use his sperm if he died. It was cute. But if we hadn't seen that program the note would've never been written. We now have 2 beautiful rugrats and I cant have anymore children. If I could and he died suddenly then maybe I would. We make awesome children. The note has long been misplaced tho.lol
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17-11-2013 08:43 #33has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
No. For selfish reasons - I would not want to deliberately become a single parent as it would so difficult (for me) to raise a child alone.
If it was something I was interested in I would only go ahead with it if DH had agreed to it and was happy with the plan.
17-11-2013 08:48 #34
If there had already been extensive discussion about having children together and both parties had the same plans for their future together, then absolutely.
I wish this had been an option when my partner died.
17-11-2013 08:51 #35
17-11-2013 08:55 #36
We have a son through IVF and an embryo on ice. We also signed forms saying the other could go ahead and have access to this in the event of one of our deaths. I just asked DH again how he would feel about me using frosty if he died and he said he would actually prefer I did so that our son could have a 'full' sibling rather than a half sibling. I don't think this would be doing this hypothetical second child any kind of a disservice.
However, I'm not sure that taking sperm from someone who has recently died (don't think that would even work?) or is on life support is quite right unless it had been discussed or the couple were actively TTC.
I do remember hearing about a case a few years back where a couple froze some embryos for later use (not sure if the woman had cancer or something?) but then split up. The woman wanted to use the embryos to have a child as she could no longer have one naturally but the husband had a new partner and said no. It went to court and she lost. I felt so sorry for her, she could never have kids.
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17-11-2013 08:56 #37
Having grown up without my father and knowing I have no chance of ever seeing him again I say no. It is a very grey subject, I think if you'd been going through IVF perhaps the circumstances are different but still not something I could do. Just knowing you won't ever meet your father is heart breaking and not something I could put a child or even Dhs family through.
17-11-2013 09:00 #38
17-11-2013 09:06 #39
17-11-2013 09:20 #40
Like I said it's a grey subject, at the end of the day it's none of my business what someone chooses to do. I also cannot speak for anyone who was conceived with donor sperm, I'd be interested to hear how they feel.
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