So without being too long my family has been through a lot over the last 3 years. The latest is my younger brother who has mental health issues attacking my husband verbally. Due to this my husband wants nothing to do with him and wants to protect our family away from him. I support him in doing this as his behaviour was disgusting and hurtful.
Fast forward to Xmas plans my Dad and Mum are divorced only 2 years..Dad says he wants to spend Xmas with us and we agree as we felt he didn't have any other plans. We stipulated that we want Xmas morning to ourselves and then he can join us for lunch at the inlaws. He was happy to do this.
My Dad then goes and arranges a road trip with my other brother bringing him all the way up from Melbourne. He then asks if he can come too. I say yes we are happy to have Dad and my other brother. Then he lets me know he has a wedding to attend in Sydney on the 27th of December and my brother and dad are driving to it... So lunch is late afternoon on the 25th how are they supposed to get from Brisbane to Sydney in one day? My husband is ****ed as he feels as the only reason he agreed to my dad coming as he was on his own he is now going to rush the lunch and leave abruptly which will **** my father in law off as things aren't all cheery since Dad failed to support us properly when my Brother attacked my husband. My husband wants to cancel their attendance to lunch so now I have to tell this all to my Dad. I am so angry as my Dad can never stick to his plans and always changes everything and an never seem to attend anything with us without inviting someone else and complicating the event.
How do I approach this with my Dad...?
Sorry for the vent I am just ****ed that since my parents divorced I am always the one in these situations that gets harassed as I have the family now and always feel like I am sorting it all out for everyone!
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14-11-2013 10:55 #1
Christmas dramas already!
14-11-2013 11:24 #2
Im sorry but I don't see the issue.
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14-11-2013 11:27 #3
I guess it's hard to communicate the whole "issues" without all the other back story and the like.. I will figure it out I guess. I just have to tell me Dad to not worry about coming to lunch... Thanks for replying anyway.
14-11-2013 11:35 #4
I don't see this issue either. So he will be spending xmas with you on the 25th and driving to Sydney on the 26th for a wedding on the 27th??
That leaves plenty of time for everything. Brisbane to Sydney is an easy one day drive, especially if you've got more than 1 driver.
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14-11-2013 11:36 #5
Is your hubby adamant that your dad and brother can't come? Or is it only because he thinks lunch will be rushed? Brisbane - Sydney is about 10 hours drive I think, so if your dad and brother are planning on leaving on 26th, would your hubby still consider having them come for lunch on Christmas day?
If it's not negotiable, I would just tell your dad straight. Something like 'it appears he has quite a bit on already, you already have plans for a lunch with your IL's and your husband doesn't want to have to cut that short because he will have to leave to drive to Sydney'. It does seem like an awful lot to cram into a couple of days!
I know how frustrating family dramas can be. DH and I decided years ago Christmas would just be us and our little family (kids) so we could avoid all the carry on.
Last edited by decemberbubba; 14-11-2013 at 11:41.
14-11-2013 11:37 #6Member
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- May 2011
That sounds tough. I am not quite clear on details, but maybe you just have to be straight with your dad and say this is what we're doing, if you come great, but we can't bend over backwards to accommodate you.
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14-11-2013 11:39 #7
So is your dad complaining about the late lunch on Xmas day?
Families argh! Dh's sister in law hasn't spoken to us for nearly 7yrs now and won't even be in the same room as us but feels the need to leave Xmas presents for the boys, her nephews she has made no interest in getting to know. Drives me bonkers!
14-11-2013 11:40 #8
I think you need to stick with your guns. Your dad knew it was a late lunch when he accepted. You cannot go changing everyone else's plans.
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14-11-2013 11:40 #9
Well I hope that's the case and they plan to leave on the 26th and not rush everything. I just need them to for once tell me what is happening! I guess there isn't a huge issue I just need to chill out. My husband makes me stress about these things..!
14-11-2013 11:44 #10
Its fairly simple to drive from brisbane to sydney In one day... we've done it many times?
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