* change behaviour ( not charge)
Please help. Tell me all about reward charts. How they work , rewards etc.
I have a 4 year old boy that really needs his behaviour changed at kinder and home. He is impulsively violent (random hitting brother, knocking others blocks over...), answers back and hard to keep in time out. Sometimes he laughs when bring told off!
Other than the crazy behaviour , he CAN be sweet, kind and loveable!
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13-11-2013 22:42 #1
Reward charts to charge behaviour
13-11-2013 23:03 #2
I don't have a four year old but have used them with students in the classroom. The key is to reward the good behaviour and find a reward that has collateral. Usually with boys, a long term reward prospect alone is too hard to work for, so something daily as well as a long term reward helps. I have used fake tattoos, special stickers, toy cars etc. try and get him to choose the long term goal from list of two or three ie trip somewhere special, buying a DVD movie that he loves, etc.
Then, and this is the hard bit, just pick the one behaviour you would like to change. I would go for the quickest fix first, so maybe staying in time out when he's put there. You need to communicate your expectations in the positive, ie 'stay where you are in time out' rather than 'don't leave'. Actually, on second thoughts maybe a different behaviour such as pushing could work better initially because the next step would be to add the sticker/stamp whatever regularly throughout the day. So - makes it through breakfast without pushing his brother = sticker; then through the morning; then until lunch etc. etc. Usually three or four opportunities for reward in the day is a great motivator. Then before bed, review the chart, and give the little prize with lots of praise.
If he has an off day, and he will, just be relatively calm about it. 'Oh well, you made a couple of bad choices today, I know you can do it better tomorrow.' No need to have big conversations about it. Also, if he does something like push his brother, then spontaneously express regret or apologies then he could earn back his reward for making up for it. The only thing to be wary of is that if he stuffs up in the morning, he has no motivation to behave during the rest of the day, which is why initially short time frames are better.
Hope this helps. Sorry for the essay!
13-11-2013 23:06 #3
My DS2 has a few reward charts going. He usually responds quite well to them. His psychologist does them up and prints and laminates them for us.
They are made to focus on specific tasks like getting ready in the morning. So DS can tick off putting on each item of clothing and eating breakfast. If he completes his chart each week he gets a new app for his ipad.
His teacher has one going for mornings at school as this has been an issue since he started. If he is 'brave' and separates from me without a meltdown each morning he gets a sticker on his chart and if he completes a full week he gets a reward from the class reward box.
I think you've just got to keep what you are trying to achieve quite specific and work on broadening the goal over time. If it's too general, like 'must behave', it's bound to fail.
Finding a reward that is appealing probably helps too.
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13-11-2013 23:17 #4
Reward charts never worked for my ds. I tried them a few times but he just didn't care. I now focus on the positive behaviour and really praise him when he plays nicely, uses good manners etc. He loves kind words and strives hard to behave nicely so I and his teacher notice and reward him with words. In saying that, my son hasn't been a 'hitter' but he will annoy his sister which does make her cry.
14-11-2013 06:50 #5
Bump for day BH's
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