I was diagnosed with PND and general depression a few months ago when my DS was 19 months and its been a really tough ride, one which I'm still dealing with but things are improving. My problem is with my Mum and Sister. Ill be feeling good and then when I talk to them they say something that really upsets me, I just don't think they understand but they think they do. My Mum actually said to me one day 'well maybe you shouldn't have had DS then.
My Sister who has a 2 yr old DD and is UTD says that she knows how I feel but doesn't have PND and hasn't ever had it. It frustrates me that she thinks she can relate and I feel uncomfortable talking to her, I know if I start opening up she'll start comparing. Have you had this problem and how did you deal with it?
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11-11-2013 17:13 #1
My Mum and Sister make me feel horrible...
11-11-2013 22:30 #2
My family was very supportive when I went through PND, so I have no tried and tested advice. Maybe you could find some articles for them to read about it? Do you speak to a counsellor about your thoughts/feelings? Maybe a professional like that could not only help you with your thoughts and feelings, but help you communicate she your mum and sister to help them understand better?
Sorry I can't help you much! I hope they start to understand a bit better soon.
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11-11-2013 23:12 #3
When I was in the depths of PND, my mum also said and did a lot of things that upset me, and delayed my recovery. I had to distance myself from her to really recover properly.
I think its a combination of stuff.
Firstly If someone has never really been touched by mental health issues either personally or through someone close to them, it's incredibly hard to really understand it. I know I really had no idea until I went through it personally. My dh and my mum attended a few sessions with my therapist and I also encouraged them to research the signs, symptoms themselves. Beyondblue website is a great place to start and has some tips and advice for people close to those with depression or anxiety.
secondly, and if you are still in the middle of it, this will be difficult to realise fully just now... Is that PND distorts your thinking. A lot of what you are thinking and feeling isn't real. It's not that it's all in your head, it's just that your brain is adding 2 +2 and getting 5. If you are anything like me you will be catatrophising (sp), personalizing etc etc. google "distorted thinking processes" there is some good info and arming yourself with knowledge on how PND works is a great way to begin battling it.
It also makes you extra sensitive to stuff that normally wouldn't bother you.. That's not to say the comments aren't hurtful or wrong, just that the nature of the illness means you take things much more to heart when normally you would be able to shake it off.
Good luck with your recovery.... Remember it's just an illness and like any other illness it is treatable and you WILL recover. It's important to be kind to yourself
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