Why is it the more I read, the more I notice that advice on getting babies to sleep it's either CC or CIO or feed and cuddle to sleep / co-sleep with nothing in between?
also that many people think CC and CIO are the same thing? Just like co-sleeping and bed sharing are also the same?
I just feel feel that it means either parents who aren't into CC are left with longer term sleep issues as they think feeding and rocking to sleep is the only way. Likewise that parents who use CC think it's the only way to sleep train which they do then feel bad about it?
just my thought of the day really. Anyone agree?
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11-11-2013 12:44 #1
Sleep methods - what's with the all or nothing types of advice.
11-11-2013 13:29 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
I think those are the more common well known methods. However i used a combination of a few of these methods that i found suited me and my baby.
CC worked beautifully for my dd and i did it by the book. I did not feel guitly doing it because she was old enough and the whole family was sick of suffering through lack of sleep and dealing with a irritated and tired baby. It was actually pure bliss the first night we were able to put her to bed.....and that was it untill morning.
DS was a little more of a sensitive soul. I knew CC was not for him. I used the technique - without actually walking out on him at all as that was the part that put him in hysterics. I rewarded small improvements with cuddles and praise.
i think there are alot of different ways people get their baby sleeping. Each baby is an individual so i would think that each baby has a method that is tweaked just for them.
12-11-2013 18:29 #3
I totally totally agree OP. Methods like hands on settling need to be more widely known. A friend of mine said she feeds/cuddles her baby to sleep (baby pretty terrible sleeper) because she won't do the Ferber method. I was a bit stunned she thought those were her only options and Ferber is like so 20 years ago anyway!
Also when people say they think "leaving a baby to cry" is damaging - there's a huge variation in what leaving a baby to cry can mean. Yep it's wrong to leave a newborn to cry themselves to sleep. I wouldn't leave my 2 year old to cry himself to sleep but there's a huge difference between that and leaving a baby to grizzle for a few minutes. I have a bit of an issue with the heavy handed attachment parenting ethos all over the internet that make you feel guilty if you want your baby to self-settle or make you feel like anything other than rocking/feeding to sleep is somehow damaging your child. I think having an overtired baby is pretty damaging for everyone actually.
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PeJu's Mum (12-11-2013)
12-11-2013 19:29 #4
Not to mention the kids like my son, who actually prefers to be just left alone to go to sleep. Now at 2 years old, he tells me he wants to go back to bed when I put him in bed with us! We used a combination of methods, mainly leaving him unless he was actually upset. I was rocking/cuddling for 40+ mins before he would actually fall asleep/pass out - when we started leaving him, the first time it took 12 mins for him to go to sleep and the crying was no worse than when I used to hold him!!
15-11-2013 07:22 #5
I had read nearly every sleep book out there when dd was young so I was educated in all the different methods. Just because I say I did cc doesn't mean that I didn't know there was other alternatives.
I chose to do cc over pat/shh, pick up/put down etc because I knew, if consistent, it would work, quickly, and would not confused dd. Besides, dd had never cared for cuddles or patting, she was just ****ed off for me no providing the boobs.
I was obsessed with not doing cc with dd and said I never would, I did all the things I was meant to to teach her good habits, but in the end after over 6 months of no sleep we were both miserable. I have no regrets it changed our lives.
In regards to cc and CIO, many ppl out there do not know there is a difference. But I'm sure the people chosing to embark on this journey do
If check ins had made dd worse I would of considered CIO if it would of suited her. You need to do what you feel comfortable with, works for your baby and be consistent.... Each to their own
So it wasn't so much an all or nothing thing, I was aware of gentler techniques but I chose cc. People can judge away
Edit: I do suggest cc to others because it worked for me and I am educated on it. I do not give advice on other options as I never tried them. Not sure if it's the same for others.
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 15-11-2013 at 07:46.
15-11-2013 07:38 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
Well I did self soothe and pat to sleep, which was very gentle and bub was not left alone to CIO.
Best of all it worked a treat
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