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  1. #31
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    i know how he acts when he's guilty. I know when he's lying. I can ask him. But i dont want to bring up the trust stuff again.

    As for the PP asking about snooping. i needed proof and evidence so he couldnt get out of it. I had a feeling and was straight onto it and knew about everything. I printed out the emails and did what i had to do then showed him straight away. i also didnt want him to think i was plain stupid.
    "snooping"....i call it being a detective.
    The whole trust thing - yes it was a bit of a broken time in our relationship, there were obvious trust issues. However we layed it all out, got through it together on our own, eventually the best way we knew how.
    Sometimes a relationship has to go through the hard times to make sure the trust is still there......

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoseBetweenTheThorns View Post
    I am in no way condoning cheating, but it just shows lack of trust if you need to snoop. But DP and I have a very different relationship to others.
    I never snoop on my husband, ever. Bc he's never cheated on me, he's just not that type of guy so I have no reason to snoop. The fact the OP is even questioning his fidelity tells me there is no trust without the snooping.... and who could blame her?

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  5. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoseBetweenTheThorns View Post
    I like how whenever i see these threads there are always people saying snoop, Do you really think that is a trusting relationship????
    Just ask him, geez if he has cheated again, it more the lies than the act that is the betrayal
    Hasn't he already broken her trust by cheating? The reality is with a history like that she needs to snoop. I personally couldn't stay with DH if he cheated. I'd never trust him again. Espicially if he blamed it out X , Y Z. rather then just admit he was in the wrong.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I never snoop on my husband, ever. Bc he's never cheated on me, he's just not that type of guy so I have no reason to snoop. The fact the OP is even questioning his fidelity tells me there is no trust without the snooping.... and who could blame her?
    I was just thinking the same thing. In fact that exact text wouldn't phase me if it were on DP's phone because DP has never given me a reason to not trust him. That very text on someone's phone with a history of cheating though is a different story.

    The fact he's not entirely trusted was well earned.

  7. #35
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    For me I don't think snooping is a lack of trust, I call it keeping tabs on everything.

    In my defence I'm also the wife who encourages DH to go out for a boys night/weekend as I know just how trustworthy he is. My snooping leaves me no doubts at all about that😝

    Plus I think he does the same to me, sneaky bugger lol

  8. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I'm sure I will p!ss people off with this response ������ BUT BS..... your DH needs to take some responsibility for his actions ( in the past )

    Saying he cheated because he doesn't feel wanted by you anymore? Way to pass the buck champ. I'm sorry but what a ridiculous excuse. But apparently you find it plausible if you believe that yes you did take your relationship for granted.

    I hope he's learnt his lesson from past mistakes & there's an innocent explanation.
    I agree! He cheated because he is an ar*e. I read that text in a different way to some. I don't think it's sounds innocent at all but I could be wrong.

  9. #37
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    But if he has nothing to hide, why did he not tell you that he caught up with this woman?

    Sorry, major red flags for me too.

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  11. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenga View Post
    I agree! He cheated because he is an ar*e. I read that text in a different way to some. I don't think it's sounds innocent at all but I could be wrong.
    I read it how you read it too.

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  13. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    But if he has nothing to hide, why did he not tell you that he caught up with this woman?

    Sorry, major red flags for me too.
    That's another good point. Don't people ask each other how their day went? Most partners would mention a catchup at least in passing.

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  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Given his history of cheating, and the fact it all started with text messages I would be suspicious. I doubt it's a case of knowing each other from way back and just running into each other. Why do they have each other's numbers? and 'talk soon' tells me they are involved in ongoing contact.

    When these sort of threads come up I'm loathed to say he's cheating, bc we can't know for sure. if I were you, I wouldn't say anything yet, and monitor his phone and internet. IME if you confront a cheater before you have evidence they just deny and then become more careful. If it is innocent, he's going to be angry you don't trust him. If it were me, I'd bide my time. If there's nothing untoward that will show itself. If there is something going on, you can gather evidence so he can't weasle out of it.
    Agree.

    Check his phone in a few days time and see if he's deleted it, as in that he's hiding it from you.

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