ive never had any help, ive never really asked and people dont ask me because they know me well. i wouldnt know what to do with it and i dont know any better.
I like things done my way, i get annoyed with ppl tying to "help", i find it makes more work for me.
For example, mum might take the washing off the line, but then doesnt know where everything goes, so its left on the kitchen table.....which i forget about, then i have to find the time to put it all away when usually i take washing off and put away straight away, takes me 10mins to do it all.
Same with someone else putting my dishes away - i can never find anything!!!
i could never hire a cleaner - they would NEVER meet my standards.
i have dd in daycare for 1 day a week - that helps me with quite a few things.
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06-11-2013 13:37 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
06-11-2013 13:43 #22
06-11-2013 13:47 #23
I don't "need" help but I like it!
I do think its nice having a. "Village" and I'm very lucky I have one - I love that my mum loves to come over and plays with DS and sees him at least every other day and her and dad have had him nearly one night a week or my SIL or sister often ask to take him for play dates or outings , i don't need daycare as mum willingly has him 2 days a week and i sometimes have to go into work late for meetings or appointments with short notice and its so easy knowing my mum and 3 x SIL and sister all live less than 5 km from our house, I think its great he has a ton of interaction with other people , he is very outgoing and a very confident just turned 3 year old , I do feel really lucky to have so much help as I know a lot don't but as an aunt I also do the same for my nieces and nephews as again , for us anyway, that's what family is all about
06-11-2013 14:08 #24Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
I dont need help now. But before I sold my business I had the kids in daycare ft and a cleaning and ironing lady.
Im now sahm to ds 4, dd started prep this year and im 36 weeks utd. I dont think ill need help in the future as ds goes to prep next year too, so bsck to it being just me and a bubba at home during the day.
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06-11-2013 14:25 #25
I don't need it and can get along fine without it but i don't knock back offers of help either.
My mum takes DD2 out for the day on tuesdays meaning its only me and DS at home so i can either relax or catch up on chores while he naps. It gives her time with DD2 & gives DD2 a day out win/win
MIL & FIL occasionally mind the kids (like once a month-ish) when she's here MIL will catch up my ironing & folding if there is any.
Day to day no i don't have help with regular things and DH rarely helps out
06-11-2013 14:47 #26
It can also depend on DH too. Mine leaves 6.30am returns home at 7pm and works Saturdays until around 2pm. So it doesn't give me a chance to get help from DH but if he was home more he would help out (I'm stoked when he's on holidays!! Which doesn't happen that often either 😕)
06-11-2013 14:54 #27
Nope I don't need help at all. In fact I even had my mother take time off work to 'help' after my surgery. I sent her home early as I was still doing the cooking/cleaning, etc.
I'm also a single working parent so I get no help from a partner. Every bad night I deal with, every bath/dinner time is up to me. I do every bit of cooking/cleaning/financial/shopping/parenting task involved in my house and I've never received help. I really don't think I need it though. I'm stubbornly independent and very organised and capable. I'm more to the extreme that I need to learn to relax and let go a little.
I also dealt with the waking nights & breast feeding a newborn with a toddler completely on my own. I'm just in a constant state of tiredness
06-11-2013 14:58 #28
Do I need "help"? Probably not. Would I like "help"? Hell yes! DH & have no family what so ever in OZ so I do get envious of other mums who have their family to "help" out. Like others have said, if we won the Lotto, I would be hiring a cleaner just to do the mundane household chores. My sisters have my mum close by & she is always helping out by picking up the kids, having them over for sleepovers etc. We are to going our home country for 5 weeks in December & I cannot wait to be able to go out just DH & me 😊.
While I do have friends here who are always offering to babysit, help out, I feel bad asking them.
06-11-2013 15:11 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I don't need it - as in my life depends on it. Is it important to me that my DS has a functional and close relationship with my parents though - absolutely. It definitely takes a village for me. I don't consider it "help", it's normal for my family.
06-11-2013 15:13 #30
When DD was tiny yes I needed help. I needed someone to come and take DS out and about a couple of times a week, as well as sending him to kinder twice a week. When I go back to work yes I will need help, in the form of formal child care and also MIL. When the kids are school aged I will need mum to pick them up from school because I don't finish work till 4pm. I also like the help I get in the form of babysitting, mum coming over and folding my washing or doing my dishes, and I have a cleaner as well. It's great that others can do it alone, but I wouldn't want to.
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