No i dont "need" it but i always said if i won lotto the first thing i would do is hire a part time housekeeper ( i always think about Alice on the Brady Bunch for some reason )..just freeing up time from those boring cleaning / washing / folding / cooking drudgery jobs and do more fun things with the kids would be heaven.
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06-11-2013 10:30 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
06-11-2013 10:35 #12-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
No, I'm used to not having regular help.
DP and I moved states, away from our parents and extended families before our first baby was born. Since then we've moved a few more times, but our relatives have always lived interstate, so I'm used to not having regular help and I kind-of like having my own routine and specific ways of doing things.
Having said that, Mum has come to stay each time I've had a baby, for a week or so, which has been wonderful, particularly when I went into labour with my third baby. She babysat DD1 & DD2 so that DP could come into the hospital with me, which was wonderful, because I didn't want to labour & birth alone or bring the kids in too (as we had to when DD2 was born due to having no-one around!)
DP and I are fine with the situation though, and like being independent. We've lived away from everyone for so long now that we feel a bit suffocated if we get lots of relatives visiting, one after another. We've also found that there are a lot of other parents in similar situations with family interstate.
Last edited by 1234Guest; 06-11-2013 at 10:40.
06-11-2013 10:40 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
I guess you could say I do 'need' it! I love DD and that's why I had her, but I would go insane without my little breaks. I don't need help with the house, that's my mess to clean up, but I always welcome help with DD, she goes to 'granny' daycare a few times a week while I go to college, and when friends or grandparents are over to visit, they love to play with her, so I take the opportunity to catchup on things then too. I don't think this makes me a bad mummy.... but a better happier mummy.
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06-11-2013 12:55 #14
I am far from house-proud, but strangely find myself too proud to enlist the help of others to get all those jobs I hate doing done. The only times I'm okay with someone coming and cleaning stuff is if I'm recovery from an operation or something... then I'm really grateful when my mother comes and stays and takes care of myself, DD and the housework... she does a better job at all of them than I do anyway. lol.
Any other time, I don't want their help. I would rather it just not get done if I'm honest.
I don't think it's fair to ask anyone else to help me out unless I truly need it.
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06-11-2013 12:56 #15
We are fine with housework/chores etc, I've found as the kids get older it gets easier. We do rely on my Mum for babysitting regularly though due to conflicting work schedules.
06-11-2013 13:01 #16
I don't usually need help and I don't get it often as my mum works and MIL lives 40 mins away, but if eitger come over to visit they will try help out.
Tbh When I could do with some help, is when DH away, I'm sick, 2 kids, both sick too.
DS2 never ever wants to be put down during the day (12 weeks old) so not much around here gets done these days.
I'm just happy to get through a day with the kids still in tact! If I get house work done its a bonus! I'm not sure how some mums manage to do everything plus baking and cooking these amazing things and sewing clothes ect - with 3 kids snd a baby too- obviously i suck!
Last edited by MummaJez; 06-11-2013 at 18:59.
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06-11-2013 13:09 #17
I dont need help. However I have haf times where ive had specialist appts for DS2 or DS3 where a friend has babysat one of my kids for me for a few hours.
Ive also had one lovely friend come over a few times and hold DS3 for me so I can get some housework done. DS3 has been sick and a really high needs baby with severe reflux and intolerances and as a result does not sleep during the day and cries - all the time. Its been mentally draining for me and with a 5yr old and 3yr old also to look after, I have welcomed her offers of help. She even came grocery shopping with me last week as DS2 has SPD and is toilet training and its been really hard for him and she wanted to make my life a bit easier.
Just personally I HATE the "well they're your kids, you wanted them so you take care of them 100% of the time" sentiment. Of course they're my children and it was my choice to have them. It was not my choice to have PND, a child with special needs and all 3 kids having had reflux, so yup I dont NEED help and besides my friend I don't get much, but it is lovely when it happens.
I plan on helping as much as I cab when I have grandchildren and I am always first to offer help to my friends if they need it with their kids or house.
Every situation is different, unless your living their life, it isnt fair to judge.
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06-11-2013 13:20 #18
Do I need help, no. Do I accept it when its offered, hell yes! I have a newborn, a 3 year old and a DF who does a lot around the house. My dad often comes over and offers to take Mr 3 for the night or for a swim or to the park for a play. My MIL comes about every 6 weeks and stays for a few days. She does washing, cooking, feeds, anything really. They love to do it, the kids love and it gives me some time out. No way am I saying no to that!
06-11-2013 13:35 #19
No don't really need help with household stuff...yet (#3 on the way so who knows what they will bring) DS1 does go to daycare once a week in which time I do all of my errands. I wouldn't get half of then done if I was towing him around. He starts school next year so obvs won't be going.
I think everyone needs a little help from time to time. Whether your having a crap day, tragedy has struck or you just need a bit of *me* time (what's that?) then take the help but be appreciative of it. I personally don't agree when SAHM hire help to look after their kids or have then in daycare for most of, if not all of the week so they can "chill out" or whatever. Yes I've seen it happen.
Not to say that they are a bad mother, just that I don't agree with it.
Obviously not talking about working mums
#3 due 20/07/14
06-11-2013 13:36 #20
I do *need* help with certain things, yes. You wouldn't know it to look at me, but I have a permanent back injury and can't lift heavy things, do stuff in the garden, or bend over to scrub the shower, for example. I also work full time and therefore *need* someone to look after my daughter after school.
I pay for the help I need (have a cleaner come fortnightly, DD goes to after school care etc) but if I had family willing to do it for free then hell yeah would I take it.
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