Just a little spin off
Are you the type of mum that needs 'help'? with everyday things, like house work, child raising etc? DH's and partners are not included in my question
I don't need help. I can clean my house, fold my washing and look after my kids myself. After all they are MY kids. And that is why I had them!
I understand the 'it takes a village' thing (I think!) but really, do some mum's really need help with their kids?
I see in some posts that mum's and MIL's help with cleaning and chores etc and it seems the norm for some, but I don't get it.
I have an extended family member who has 2 DD's, both primary school aged, and her mum goes over to their place every morning to help her DD get her 2 girls ready for school!
I am the total opposite of that. Although not having a mother probably has more to do with it than I thought
What do you think? I'm interested to hear!
I am a SAHM now but while my 2 little kids were younger I used to work, so I had 2 in day care and 1 teenager, so I've seen both sides of the coin
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06-11-2013 09:50 #1
Do you need every day 'help' with kids, chores etc?
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Little Miss Sunshine (06-11-2013)
06-11-2013 09:56 #2
I've never had help so i guess i don't need it. It would be nice at times though.
You never really know what's going on in someone else's life. They could have PND or other mental health issues, maybe that's why family members chip in? Maybe they just aren't coping with the adjustment to motherhood? Maybe they have overbearing mothers and MILs and it's just easier to keep the peace and let them do what they want?
They could be heaps of reasons really.
06-11-2013 09:57 #3
That is true Harvestmoon
06-11-2013 10:02 #4
No, but I only have one child!
My mum used to offer help when DS was a newborn, but I really just felt I would rather do things myself. Plus my DH is very helpful.
I don't feel comfortable letting anyone 'help' with cleaning my house (a professional cleaner would be the exception). I like to take care of my own mess.
I don't see anything wrong with accepting help that is offered, so long as both parties are comfortable with the arrangement.
06-11-2013 10:04 #5
No I don't need help. I work part time and have two toddlers. When my Mum and MIL visit they always hang out a load of washing or take a load in and fold it.
No idea why, my house is clean and tidy, I guess I just assumed it was a `Mum' thing, to help and be busy rather than sit on your bum when visiting someone?
The only `help' I request is to have one of them mind our kids every few months so we can go on a date.
06-11-2013 10:06 #6
I don't *need* help, no. But as a SAHM of 4 children under 8 as well as being a full time student, sometimes I would LOVE help around the house.
Someone to do the everyday house stuff whilst I study would be AWESOME.
06-11-2013 10:07 #7
Do I *need* it? No. Is it nice to have? Yes. I have a cleaner who comes once a week and does bathrooms, floors and other tedious cleaning jobs. Not having to do those jobs frees up an enormous amount of time and enables me to relax a bit. DH and I have also decided that once every 4-6 weeks we're going to ship the kids to my mum's, my dad's or my PIL for an overnight stay, dropping hem off early on a Sat and picking them up late on the Sun so we can get some time to ourselves. I would argue though that that is now a necessity rather than a luxury. We're in the process of trying to reconnect as a couple after a fairly distant couple of years.
06-11-2013 10:12 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I don't 'need' help, but if someone wanted to come over and fold all my washing and clean my bathrooms I wouldn't knock them back.
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06-11-2013 10:15 #9
Do I need help? No. If I had help though my house, garden and car would be waaaay tidier, my kids would have more quality time with mum which we all would like and I would be calmer. Being a working single mum with 2 kids can be draining. If I have a bit of extra cash then I pay a mother's helper every few weeks to do the things that I don't get done. I also feel it's fine to have help. I could be a supermum and do it all to a high standard but honestly I would be spreading myself too thin.
06-11-2013 10:20 #10
Just an aside... there is no reward for doing everything on your own. Accepting genuine offers of help has a two fold benefit...the person offering the help feels useful and good about them self...and the person receiving the help gets a break (even if it is just a break from hanging out one load of washing of the million that is hung out a week).
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