Your feelings are valid, no doubt about it, and you are obviously a very independent woman. But I have to maintain the view that the care of your children is really the most important thing and you aren't concerned about that as you do trust her in that regard.
I can guarantee I would be tidying my house floor to ceiling if MIL came to babysit, but the care of (future) baby would be what I was most concerned about & I would weigh up whether the other stuff was a show stopper or not. You may reach the conclusion that it is. Just trying to offer perspective.
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06-11-2013 13:34 #51
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06-11-2013 16:49 #52
I'd rather cut off my own arm than having MIL in my house alone again "helping". It is not "helping". It is snooping and feeling superior for doing something in my home that I have neither needed your help with nor wanted your help for.
Personally, I would hire a local kid to babysit. I wouldn't mention it to DH nor MIL. I would at the last minute "remember" about the show and do the fake call to the sitter. I would feel much happier having a local kid babysitting than an interfering busybody MIL. If MIL says anything about having the sitter, tell her you'd forgotten until the last minute and it was too late to organise her. A local kid would be less inclined to snoop. (Besides I'd rather have a local kid snoop at my nothing than my MIL).
06-11-2013 17:03 #53
Yes I am wary of my mil being alone in my house, she is the worlds biggest snoop too, she goes so far as to read our mail if it's around and then later bring it up in conversation, I'm not assuming she does this, it has happened. She can have my kids any time, I don't question her ability but I'd rather take them to her than leave her alone in my house.
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06-11-2013 18:10 #54
06-11-2013 19:33 #55
I'm sorry but I think its extremely rude to hire a teen when you have family able and willing to babysit.
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06-11-2013 20:41 #56
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06-11-2013 21:17 #57Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
I'm not keen on my mil being unattended in my house. Mostly because I know she will gossip to everyone about how she 'had' to do x, y or z because my house was filthy. The other reason is because she will tidy my kitchen so I can't find stuff and fold/hang my washing badly - I'm talking stretched out of shape and ruined. She is however better than the friend that stayed and sorted all the bills and business paperwork on my table. I cried I was so upset and then she made me feel bad because she told me she thought she was helping. She also sorted my fridge and threw a whole heap of stuff out before proceeding to tell me what to buy at the supermarket.
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06-11-2013 21:24 #58
I don't think it's fair to make OP feel bad about a possible solution to her problem. Obviously she has an issue with her MIL and perceives there is judgement and prying going on. This may be a solution.
We use paid babysitters if we don't want to ask family. Sometimes it us nice going out and not having family know our every move. It us nice to have Privacy.
07-11-2013 06:20 #59
Shock, gasp, but some are actually manipulative, nosey cows.
Whilst they are very capable of and willing to look after the kids, they take it step further and decide to "help" by going through everything you own (including your bedroom and wardrobe), perhaps doing some washing which gives them an excuse for being in your bedroom, they will go through your filing cabinet to see Bank Statements, bills, letters etc, they will tell other family members and friends what you have, where you've been, how much you earn, whilst boasting how much they've put themselves out by helping you. Then have the gall to tell you what they think about whatever they've found while snooping.
I find your comment incredibly rude for judging the OP (and myself for suggesting a babysitter). Obviously you think you live in a world where all MIL's are decent, unfortunately, that is not the case.
07-11-2013 06:45 #60
Just remember you will be that MIL one day and you may be replaced by some random teenager. Does is really matter if she checks out your linen closet?
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