I don't have much experience with kids this age (yet), but I remember doing this as a kid.
What I remember was being scared of my mum's response if I told her the truth. So say I'd done something not really thinking about the consequences... if I admitted to it then I'd be told of/punished/my mum would be really disappointed with me when I already KNEW that what I'd done wasn't the best choice. I'd lie in an attempt to avoid that, and I kept doing it because at times it worked.
I know it used to infuriate my mum... and she'd talk about how honesty was most important etc. I still used to feel like it was my mum's fault, because the way she acted meant I couldn't tell her the truth about things.
No advice, I have no idea how to respond to that which might be effective, but that's how I remember looking at it as a kid.
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02-11-2013 07:54 #11
02-11-2013 09:44 #12Senior Member
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- Feb 2006
My Dd went through this, she's mostly stopped the lying now.
What I did was I told her that from now on I can't believe anything she says because she always lies. Anything from "mum I didn't do it" (ie fights with siblings) or "mum I finished my homework", down to bits of everyday conversation like "mum I really like this dinner" or "friend and I made up a cool dance at school today" I would shrug my shoulders and say "yeah well I don't know if I can believe you coz you always lie". She found it incredibly frustrating and would get really disappointed that I didn't believe her, but I would just say "yeah well maybe if you stopped lying about everything I might believe you". I think I did this for a few weeks maybe, seems cruel I know but gee it worked so well. She stopped lying and now really doesn't lie much at all (she is 8).
As for the makeup, the first time a few years ago she had make up she smooshed it all into her bed sheets. I gave her a lot of chances but it still kept happening. So it all got confiscated, and she is still banned from makeup and she knows it's for that reason. I am considering maybe re-introducing it in the near future but under strict rules of using it in the bathroom only and NOT wiping it on anything other than a bit of tissue (she has this thing of wiping her fingers on everything, when she's eating, painting, whatever).
Hope that helps. Good luck.
11-02-2014 11:01 #13
Our DS7 is going through the same thing atm. It's incredible frustrating for everyone. He is lying about everything and anything. Stealing things, taking food from the pantry in the middle of the night and all round being very destructive.
We tried taking sweet things away to avoid temptation- so he ate everything else. We tried locking the cupboards - he raided the bathroom and took a lot of medicines that tasted sweet like strepsils and tums. We tried confiscating toys- he stole them back.
I can't believe anything he says. I can't trust him to do anything without sneaking or stealing. We have to check his pockets and bag everytime we leave the house
I just got a referral from the gp to see a child psychologist. He clearly needs help with impulse control and behaviour management. He is also just had a series of blood tests to rule out anything underlying.
Your gp should be able to refer you to a bilk billing clinic also.
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