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  1. #1
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    Default Lying 7yr old. Any ideas?

    My daughter is about to turn 7 in two weeks.
    Generally she's been a well behaved girl. I've often been complimented on her politeness and caring personality. But that's all changed in the past 1-2 months.

    She just seems to lie about everything, from simple things from whether she's brushed her teeth, or picked up her towel off the bathroom floor, to more major things.
    Currently she's banned from electronic devices because I found her throwing game discs around the house and blamed it on her 3yr old brother. And tonight, I went to put her to bed and there's a strong nail polish smell in her room. I asked her what it was and she continuously lied she didn't know until I found it. She emptied eyeshadow until the carpet, rubbed it in and tried to cover it with clothes and then painted the eyeshadow case with nail polish. Even after finding it, she lied and tried to blame it on her brother. When I said lying is double punishment, she finally confessed and when I asked her why she just said "I don't know".
    I admit I cracked it and yelled at her and I smacked her and sent her to bed crying. I've never smacked her before and I left the room crying myself. I've never agreed with spanking, but I did it and I hate myself for it.

    I don't know what to do. I assume she's acting out for a reason, but I can't find out why no matter how much I try. She's doing well in school, she does dance and does well there. Generally she gets along with her brother lol

    Any ideas to help me over come this?

  2. #2
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    I couldn't read and not give you hugs. I have a boy who turned 8 in June. He is going through the same stage at the moment. I have no advice but I will sub to see if someone can help us. xxx

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    I think it's an age thing... My 6 year old is the same. It's getting increasingly worse. She will do something in front of me and when I pull her up on it she lies and says it wasn't her. Wtf kid, I just WATCHED you!!

    I don't really know what to do either. If she is honest with me she gets a lesser punishment than if she lies. If she continues to lie she gets sent to her room until she is ready to tell the truth. It's a tricky one.

    I think it's just them trying to push boundaries, as oppose to acting out about something

    Please don't beat yourself up about smacking her- give her extra cuddles, explain why you reacted that way.

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    DD1, DD2, DD3 & bun in the oven due May 2014
    Last edited by SheWarrior; 01-11-2013 at 22:27.

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    My daughter is 6 and does it too. I can tell shes lying as she rolls her eyes to the ceiling and cant make eye contact with me.

    I deal with it the same way my mum did. I send her to her room until she can tell me the truth. I also bluff her, like the other day she made up some crap about school I pretended to call her teacher, gave her one last chance. She confessed and then I gave her the boy that cried wolf speech.

    Its early days but seems to be working for now.

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  5. #5
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    DEFINITELY an age thing. My DS is 9 and is just starting to ease up on "that stage". Soooooo infuriating. Hugs OP, its tough.

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    My DD1 is 6.5 and lies her butt of this year.

    She seems to go in phases where its out of control and others where she'll only lie occasionally.

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    I feel a sigh of relief it's not just me and not just my daughter. Thank you

    I can deal with the little or simple lies, but it's the recent bigger ones which include some sort of destruction or violent behaviour that seems to have sneaked up unexpectedly.

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    I don't have a child this age, but I do teach children in that age group. My initial thoughts would be acting out either for attention or out impulsivity. If she is impulsive, then doing some talking around Stop, Think, Then Do, or talking about different scenarios and seeing if she can figure out what the consequences of her actions might be, could help. Children generally lie either because they are scared of the punishment/anger that might result, or because they are scared of upsetting or disappointing the other person. She may not know exactly why she does what she does if she is impulsive, as well.

    I would talk about respect, and say that if she makes a bad choice then you will have a lot of respect for her if she tells you the truth when you ask her. Then, the first couple of times she is honest with you straight away I would heap praise on her and avoid a punishment beyond a natural consequence ie if she throws game discs around then the natural consequence is picking them up and not being allowed to play with them for a while, or having the games packed away and having to earn the right to play them etc.

    Not sure if this helps or not, but it is a horrible stage.

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    My 8.. 9 year old ( in half an hour..lol), is exactly the same. Hopefully from all the pp's responses, it is just a faze and they will get over it eventually!

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  10. #10
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    My 9 yr old (turned 9 today) has been fibbing for about a year ... Year and a half .

    Infuriating!


    Mumma to two beautiful boys on the spectrum and one special little girl.


 

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