To be honest I'd probably just not tell them otherwise if I didn't do what they asked.
But no matter who looks after my boys I always say 'whatever gets you through the night'. Even though I have routines and healthy food is really high up on the agenda in my home with my kids - if someone else is doing me a favour by watching them I would happily accept their way of doing things. Much like 'different house, different rules.' I can't stand people sitting anywhere but at the table when eating ... So even if I'm looking after a child who normally watches TV when eating dinner - it just doesn't happen in my house.
I used to be pretty anal with DS1 though and stressed over in laws and 'my rules', I've learnt to let it go and my boys know my expectations and others differ.
So after that essay - I wouldn't make a point of doing things on purpose because I felt my way was better than the parents - I'd just do whatever made us all comfortable and got us through the day/night. Kids can behave/respond very differently with other people. If a bub was crying at my place I'd cuddle them up - even though I did CC with my own kids.
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31-10-2013 14:21 #71
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31-10-2013 16:46 #72
To all the PP's still hung up on the CIO/CC, it was an example. I said it was 'in vogue' now because as a child of the 80s all of my family/friends/neighbours were all routine and CC babies. Mum had never heard of AP until I had my daughter. That's all. I really don't know the history or what is truly in vogue or whatever. Just making an example based on my own personal experience.
31-10-2013 16:50 #73
And seeing as this is a theoretical question can we all please try to be slightly less condescending.
Many PP's have said "I wouldn't CC because I don't believe in it" etc etc. Totally Fine
What's not fine is to make out that parents that CC are not not in tune, or connected with their children. That's a judgement call and really not cool.
31-10-2013 17:07 #74Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
I've already replied to this thread but I've thought about it a bit more.
Mostly because I'm positive I will struggle to not be overbearing with my grand kids. I'll be that nanna put on visitation restrictions.
I think if my grand kids are in my house it's fair that I expect them to obey my house rules & be respectful of my belongings etc. So I'm thinking if my kids think they can bring the grand kids to my house to run wild I won't like that. I also think I won't like grand kids having too much junk in my care just the odd treat.
CC as I've already said will be a no no for me as like a pp said it also drives me nuts listening to an under 1 cry. I can handle tantrums fine lol.
I probably will struggle to discipline grand kids how my kids would like. I'm more a provide distraction kind of person.
I really think I'll need constant reminding to but out & keep my opinions to myself. My poor kids:/
31-10-2013 18:39 #75Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
31-10-2013 19:22 #76
31-10-2013 19:40 #77
I think common sense comes into play with regards to discipline and diet. I want to be able to share a special treat with my grandchild, like hot chips on the beach, but it isn't any every day thing.
31-10-2013 20:07 #78
I would follow most instructions, CIO is something I just couldn't do. Diet/discipline/Telly or whatever I'm pretty easy on.
I was an 80s kid too, my mum followed her mothers advice regarding CIO and discipline, she always had strategies and manipulation rather than building a trusting relationship. We parent very differently and I don't feel comfortable leaving DD with her for very long (which is such a shame ). I don't want to be passed over because I'm inflexible.
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31-10-2013 20:19 #79Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Im going to be a Grandma in May 2014.. my DS is having a baby with his Gf... After reading all the negative posts about how in law grand parents are treated and lack of babysitting time,, im terrified.. I think I will ask my DIL to write me a manual lol even though she will only be 18 when bub is born and I will be 42, I think after reading all the posts I need to make sure I conform to her ideas or I will be banned from babysitting because there certainly is some very strong opinions on how wrong MIL's are...
01-11-2013 07:02 #80
Louise I wouldn't worry about it... there are a lot of different types of parents on bubhub all yammering on about what is right or wrong, but you can only work with what is best for *your* family. There is no one way.
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