I think it would definitely depend on the exact request, and how strong those beliefs were. Im quite a firm believer in "each to their own" and "Whatever works" providing the child is happy, healthy, secure, cared for, needs met etc..
But the thought of certain practices go against every bone in my body, one in particular is making my stomach churn even now, just thinking about it, so i doubt i could carry through on it.
If it was a preference of mine, and i was asked to do the other, well, fair enough, id probably comply unless i felt it would be detrimental to the childs health or wellbeing.
In saying that though, id tell them upfront so they had the choice to take the offer of baby sitting, or leave it.
But ive also felt the disapointment of someone not following through on your requests because 'their way' is easier...
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31-10-2013 00:19 #51
31-10-2013 00:20 #52Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
To be honest.. I don't know... If it was something I really strongly disagreed with, I don't think I could do it.
If it was something harmless, that I don't necessarily agree with, I think I would be able to bite my tongue.
I hope that my son values my opinion when he is older & respects that I won't be able to do things I don't feel comfortable with..
31-10-2013 00:32 #53
I think I'd tell my child what I can and can't do and if that's not okay then I can help and be involved in different ways. If it's controlled crying then I can baby sit in the evening when baby is already been put to bed (if they're okay that if baby wakes I'm going to respond straight away) or if that won't work then I can only baby sit during play times or only help out if they're home to put baby to bed.
The problem I've had is inlaws making it very clear that our boundaries around food would not be respected, then *****ed and moaned that we didn't leave jasper with them as a baby. They wanted it both ways - demanding to have him but didn't want to respect our wishes.
Also, someone who's strongly opposed to cc will likely go "oh it didn't work, so I just rocked him to see if he'd fall asleep" after a few minutes of crying. Someone who's strongly in favour of cc will go "oh it didn't work, so I just put him in his cot to see if he'd fall asleep" after a few minutes of rocking. So I'd prefer to leave my babies with someone who is either neutral on topics I'm passionate about or on the same page.
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31-10-2013 00:50 #54
I think that there does have to be give and take. This seems to be a similar vein to one of my threads. My mother goes above and beyond and I know that is a rare and amazing thing but I don't expect it of her. I don't expect her to baby wear like I do or spend all of DD's naps on the couch with DD sleeping on her like I do. DD doesn't have a strict routine. I don't expect her to come to my house and am constantly offering to buy change tables and the like for her house if she wants to have DD there. And I don't much care if she watches telly all day with her though I make a point of doing a variety of things. When I ask her about all these things she says "its what is best for bub right now". There are some things that parents absolutely should be flexible on (not saying that they are the same things for everyone).
But when it comes to things that are very important to the parents, I hope that I can trust and respect DD enough as a parent (when she grows) to stick to the things that she holds dear to her parenting methods. For me that is not leaving DD to cry and giving her the best nutrition I can. I cant trust MIL on those things right now hence I don't want her babysitting.
Compromise is the key to everything but if, as a grandparent I cant meet them in their request (CC as the prime example), I cant really expect to be chosen as the chief babysitter.
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31-10-2013 08:15 #55
I will be happy to follow the rules of my children while I babysit except if they smack or CC or CIO. They go against everything I believe and I would hope my children are in tune enough with their children not to do them.
31-10-2013 08:42 #56
I'm another one who would follow their rules except for CC/CIO and smacking. A previous poster mentioned that non-CC, attachment based parenting is "in vogue" at the moment... Well, I hate to be the one to break this to you but it's been "in vogue" since the beginning of time. It's CC that is the modern, western phenomenon, not attachment parenting.
Listening to a baby scream and not responding goes against all my instincts as a mother so I don't do it and wouldn't do it with my grandchild.
ETA: I let my mum and in-laws do what they want with DD in terms of food etc. They respect my parenting style and work with that 😊
Last edited by FutureMa; 31-10-2013 at 08:46.
31-10-2013 08:48 #57
So true - CIO and CC are the new things on the block, not AP related stuff!
Look, it makes me a hypocrite but I couldn't do it. Physically, I couldn't listen to my grandkid cry alone, or sit them in front of the TV for the entire day without interacting with them, or offer them junk food instead of meals. I couldn't do it, and I'd frankly be worried about them if that was their normal, day to day life.
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31-10-2013 08:50 #58
I haven't read all the other posts but to answer the original question I don't know. I have my ways of parenting but when my Mum or MIL (when she was alive and we still spoke) babysat for me I was pretty open minded with letting them do what they felt was right and in turn if they weren't sure if I would approve of something they would ring me beforehand and ask so I hope to have the same relationship with my children when I babysit their children
31-10-2013 08:57 #59Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
I did cc with both my kids and they are fine, no issues what so ever..i firmly believe in it and if my children do it with their kids they have my support.
whatever my kids decide to do with their children is their business and I will support them and when I am asked to babysit I will do the same as children thrive on routine.
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Little Miss Sunshine (31-10-2013)
31-10-2013 09:05 #60
I don't care about junk, cc etc but my mil fed my dd GRAVY & tim tams at 4 months... There is an age limit!!!!!
I only request dd got burped properly due to reflux and wind and nobody followed through so we don't let them baby sit well didn't when young
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