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  1. #101
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    Since i first posted this thread there have been some changes - to make a long story short, i had a big talk with my friend & told her that i couldnt support her decision as much as i want to be there for her, i just cant put my personal views aside on this one ... but her minds made up & she just cant see anyone elses views except her own which is sad

    I have not heard from her since & she has changed her number & blocked me on facebook - i really wish our friendship didnt have to end this way as we've known each other for 20 years but i guess everyone has to make their own choices, i just hope her girls dont suffer the consequences ..

    I am very sorry if this thread has brought up some difficult feelings for people as that was not my intention & for the ladies that have lost a bubba or are struggling to TTC my heart goes out to you as i myself, have been down that road

    Thankyou to everyone who took the time to reply, your advice & opinions have been very helpful

  2. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to loumia For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (12-11-2013),Caviar  (13-11-2013),CleverClogs  (13-11-2013),Hulahoop  (13-11-2013),KaraB  (12-11-2013),NoteToSelf  (13-11-2013),Purple Lily  (13-11-2013),VanityFey  (12-11-2013)

  3. #102
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    OP I probably would have done what you did. It must be a little sad to lose a long term friendship but I don't think I could have carried on as normal with my friend.

  4. #103
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    Sorry to hear it OP, but she can't have been much of a friend if you can't agree to disagree occasionally. I just can't understand how she can claim to love her girls and not think of them when she's carrying a female baby like what's the difference? Does she love her daughters any less because they are female?
    Last edited by KaraB; 13-11-2013 at 09:53.

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    Caviar  (13-11-2013)

  6. #104
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    OP, I'm sorry you've lost a friendship but as KaraB has said, she mustn't be much of a friend if she drops you like a hot scone because you don't happen to agree with her decision.

    I thank you for the thread as it's got me thinking about other ethical dilemmas faced in pregnancy such as using technology to determine foetal abnormalities that lead to termination. For example, the amniocentesis which I had and if I am blatantly honest, would have terminated had the results shown positive for Trisomy. That probably makes me no better than your friend. Again, something to really ponder. Thanks.

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  8. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caviar View Post
    OP, I'm sorry you've lost a friendship but as KaraB has said, she mustn't be much of a friend if she drops you like a hot scone because you don't happen to agree with her decision.

    I thank you for the thread as it's got me thinking about other ethical dilemmas faced in pregnancy such as using technology to determine foetal abnormalities that lead to termination. For example, the amniocentesis which I had and if I am blatantly honest, would have terminated had the results shown positive for Trisomy. That probably makes me no better than your friend. Again, something to really ponder. Thanks.
    No, no, no, no! It's not the same thing at all. Your decision likely would have been partly in consideration of your child's quality of life (or lack thereof) as well as the effect on your other child. There is no disadvantage to being born female (well, I know that sentence could be unpacked a little, but you know what I mean). It's completely different. I understand what you're saying, but I would really hate for you or other people to take on extra guilt if they have decided to or thought about terminating for genetic reasons.

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