When you have been hurt by someone that you love and are suppose to love you and you are making a second go of it how do you let go of the hurt and anger and move forward.
I have moments when I remember when this all came about and I can't forget the things that where said and done and I tell myself maybe I am stupid for maybe wanting to because I should always have my guard up and protect myself from ever being hurt this way again...
I'm not talking about a little argument this event effected me so much so that I lose a lot of weight and had very dark moments of wanting to end it altogether.
I have been to counselling and I still didn't help much although it was good to talk to someone.
If I was to ever talk to him about it he would say that was all in the past move on and that I am a ***** for never letting it go....
I am just so angry that he has made me the person that I am now and I have these thoughts and feelings and fear and Hurt and I hate him for it ...
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17-10-2013 22:33 #1
How do you move on
17-10-2013 22:49 #2
Hugs. I'm sorry you feel like this.
I have been hurt very badly by my mum. She has never met ds2, he was 4 this year. I still have times where I feel upset, angry, unloved but I try to remind myself *I* didn't do this, she chose her actions and words. Sure it sucks, but it's better than having someone treat me bad.
I hope that makes some sense. Just keep reminding yourself that you're a good person. You deserve to be treated well.
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17-10-2013 22:51 #3
So sorry your loved one makes you feel this way, if your not happy maybe it's best You move on. You need to be happy & if you can't forget/forgive you can never enjoy being with him...
17-10-2013 22:59 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
I think that if you can't move on after counselling, after trying to make peace and find closure, I just don't know...He can't keep reliving his failures, but if you don't feel amends have been made then I don't know how you can move forward in a relationship. The resentment, the lack of trust, the blame etc...it's just too much.
I'm assuming this is about your partner?
17-10-2013 23:10 #5
It depends on what he's done.
If he has betrayed you, then he needs to make amends for that, he needs to work through it with you.
Counseling is needed. You cannot just forget something like that, and your partner needs to show you that they can be trusted to never hurt you like that agin.
If they want to rug sweep, because it's easier for them, then IMO they are not willing to do the hard work to make the relationship better. If its confronting and uncomfortable for them, well too bad really.
The reason people hold on to and can't seem to let go of things is often because the person responsible is not stepping up and taking full responsibility for their part in what happened. They are not giving the enough of them selves to ensure it won't happen again.
I wish you luck.
18-10-2013 05:00 #6Senior Member
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- Nov 2011
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