There's a difference between honesty and rudeness!
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17-10-2013 19:25 #61
17-10-2013 19:54 #62
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17-10-2013 20:07 #63-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Person A is honest... Person B person is sensitive. Is person A rude? Person B a whinger? Or is the truth somewhere in between?
17-10-2013 20:53 #64
17-10-2013 21:06 #65
BUT. Ignorance can frequently look like rudeness, which I find problematic. When people who quite obviously DON'T know anything about a situation are dismissive or assume everyone's experience is like their own (therefore the OP must be wrong, wrong, WRONG), then that "don't sugarcoat it" impulse makes the Hub a really unwelcoming place sometimes. The two seconds of energy it takes to be tactful might help a newbie stick around and find a solution/a bit of company/somewhere to vent etc.
Same goes for people in the grip of pregnancy hormones. Or who have just had a new baby. Or were up three nights straight with a sick kid and just need some answers. You could call them "over sensitive" or you can appreciate the fact that we're not always at our best, and that being a little bit kind will make everyone's life easier. And here I insert my favourite douvalaki:
(Hi Iz! Just like to keep you on your toes, you know it
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20-10-2013 23:39 #66
After spending more than 7 years on bh and thousands of post I have seen a lot. I do understand a lot of people are often to afraid to voice their opinions because of the mirad of private messages I've recieved from people saying I agree with you but I don't want to be caught in the crossfire.
I like to be open minded about topics but I also like to speak honestly about how I feel or my opinions. Sometimes my thoughts and opinions aren't popular but I'll say them regardless. I own them as my own and I try not to make out that my opinions are fact because they aren't and I believe everyone is entitled to their beliefs regardless if I disagree.
However if someone wants to single me out and misinterpret my own personal experiences I will stand up for myself. I don't ever like to upset people who've done nothing personal to me. But if you want to take it upon yourself to passive agressively or agressively attack me not on my opinion unprovoked I will find no issue with being an a hole back to you.
Oh so, you wanna argue? BRING IT! I got my CAPS LOCK ON.
21-10-2013 00:23 #67
If you mean sugar coating by diluting my opinion so that it fits in with everyone else's or appeases those who regularly arc up, then no, I don't sugar coat.
However, I've been hit rather viciously for that in the past so I have learned to steer clear of the 'red flag' threads that serve to stir up drama. Or if I find myself in a thread that turns into one, I'll stop commenting. And I don't care how that looks to other posters.
TBH, I find that the majority of drama stems from either not reading the posts properly and either missing what is being said, not being able to comprehend what is being said or just not wanting to read what is being said. I also find that posters who have no experience in the thread's topic also muddy the waters. A recent example was a programme that most posters watched and yet we had one who didn't who was vocal about what she thought was wrong with the programme and was simply way off base. And this was because she simply hadn't watched it.
I also find that people don't ask for clarification and will just assume the poster is taking a warry stance. I have asked in the past and I have either been treated like an idiot or the poster has made their position more clear which has really helped me understand their message.
I now simply click "ignore" on people who have been really nasty in the past and I can no longer see what they write.
Yes, there is a difference between honesty and rudeness.
It's called perception.
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Trusty Chords (21-10-2013)
21-10-2013 07:30 #68
21-10-2013 07:40 #69
I was also told that my issues could be resolved but by that stage I'd had enough. I found some of the things people told me others said about them extremely distressing so I put my big girl pants on and left.
Oh so, you wanna argue? BRING IT! I got my CAPS LOCK ON.
Last edited by Trusty Chords; 21-10-2013 at 07:43.
21-10-2013 07:52 #70
I don't sugar coat but I do try to word things diplomatically. I don't apologise for my views and I will call a spade a spade, but I don't see any reason to get horribly personal or petty with what are, essentially, strangers.
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